The Beauty of Sacrifice

"They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm."
Psalm 20:8

Sacrifice. That's what I'm calling this season of my life. Season is kind of a christian-y word so if you are unfamiliar with the term it basically means a part of your life that God is taking you through. Ecclesiastes 3 is one of the best pictures of seasons in the bible. As Christians, we will have many different seasons because God is not going to teach us one thing in our entire life, we will learn many things and usually it takes different situations, sometimes different situations teaching the same things (we are so stubborn) for us to learn them.

So back to Sacrifice. Entering this semester, I knew that the Lord wanted to strip away my earthly desires from me. Because honestly, I will be moving to Africa after I graduate for at least a year and then probably for forever. I can finally say in confidence (and excitement) that I am going to be a missionary. I kind of came to the conclusion that I wasn't just going to start being a missionary when I moved to Africa but that I needed to start living as one now. Well my sacrificial life didn't last long but then came Lent. I was really convicted to strip away the things of this world that enslave me. I am going to be very transparent here so please do not see this as boasting but confessing what I HAD to give up for Lent because it was interfering with my walk with the Lord. I am not so awesome because I'm giving up all these things, I literally HAD to do it. Be encouraged that you're not as screwed up as me.

1) TV. I chose to give up TV because I spent more time watching TV than I did spending time with my Savior. I just couldn't understand why fake characters were more interesting to me than the REAL person who shed His blood for me.
2) Facebook & Twitter. Most people would say that these are idols of time, which they definitely are for me but more importantly they are idols of approval. Embarrassingly, I must admit that I actually LOVE when people retweet my tweets or favorite them or reply to me telling me how great they are. And I hate posting a facebook status and not getting likes on it. This is extremely embarrassing for me but I gotta be honest with you guys. I find way too much worth in what people think of my words.
3) Fast food. When I'm having a bad day my first want is to run to food. Fast food makes that extremely easy for me. When I'm having a bad day or something disrupts my life, I should run to Jesus first, always. Food is definitely a "comforter" for me. Jesus should always be my portion and my comfort.

Those are the main things. So embarrassing but so good because even in one day I have already noticed Jesus' faithfulness through my sacrifice.

Sacrifice is one of the best ways to bond with our Savior. He gave the ultimate sacrifice for us in death, so when we sacrifice parts of our life in order to be closer to Him, we feel a little bit of what He felt. When I say little, I mean 1/1000th but it's still beautiful to bond with Him in that.

All of these things are also drawing me to do the thing that will ultimately revolutionize my life, prayer. Being in communion with my Savior through prayer is what will make my life different when it comes to trial. If I am always talking with Jesus, when something bad happens and I tell Him about it, it won't feel weird or awkward. And it certainly won't feel like I'm asking "just because I need something". Prayer is the ultimate thing to TAKE ON for Lent. Whatever you're giving up should lead you to be with Jesus more. If it's some sort of food, when you want that food, pray. Spend time with the Lord and let Him remind you that you should rely on Him always. Man does not live on bread alone.

I can't wait to live in Africa. I can't wait to have nothing. I really can't. I rely on so many things to give me joy and ONLY my Savior can do that. I encourage you to search your heart and find where you find your joy. If it really is only in Jesus then I commend you, you're a baller. If not, run to Jesus. Only He can truly satisfy the desires of your heart.

When I really think about it, sacrifice seems like nothing if this gets to be my life everyday :)

In Him,
Crissy

Being faithful in the little.

I just got back from one of the best weekends I've had in a while. I spent the weekend with my bestfriends in Lubbock, Texas. For me, it took 8 hours of driving to get there. Luckily most of that drive included one of my bestfriends as well. This drive gave me lots of time to think about the upcoming seasons of my life and reflecting on what God has done in the past.

Bear with me, I know this post will be long but I think it's something that we all relate to.

Personally, I am in a constant fleshly struggle of wanting to know every detail of God's plan for my life and wanting to know 0% of God's plan for my life. I never get either, as I'm sure you guys can relate, but it would sometimes be nice to know some little details or know that you're NEVER going to know. I realize that both of these ideals are very faithless in our great big God, but what can I say? I'm human.

So with wanting to know everything...this is the camp I usually hang out in. I would like to know everything that God has for my life so I can therefore make life-decisions based on that plan and just work everything out in my perfect human world. That would be great, right? Wrong. This plan completely rules out faith in the God of the universe. And honestly if God had told me that after college I would be moving to Africa when I was 16 years old...I probably wouldn't have actually answered that call til I was about 60. So in hindsight, not knowing everything is pretty great.

And now some of you are going to think I'm weird here. Sometimes I just want to know that God is never going to reveal anything to me until the very moment that it happens. I know that sound strange but in my life, I am very black and white. I want my yes's to be yes's and no's to be no's. When trusting God with your life, sometimes that means going back on promises that your human heart decided and made. If I didn't know ANY part of my plan, then heck, I could do whatever I wanted and not have to worry about working towards some goal. This plan also completely eliminates a need for Jesus all the time, it makes me need Him only in the moments that my life changes.

Now to where I am right now. Right now I know about 3 things for the next year and half.
-I know that I will be in Kenya during June and July.
-I know that I will finish my last year of college next may.
-I know that I will move overseas (probably to africa) after I graduate.

That is it. That's all I know. I don't know if I'll go to A&M next year, I don't know where I'll be living next year (which includes the whole school thing), I don't know what organization I will be moving overseas with, I basically don't know a lot of things. And for the planner side of me, well that freaking KILLS me. For the spontaneous part of me, that makes me the happiest person alive. And for the whole me, that does tend to stress me out, I need to know where I am going to spend next year, for human purposes...like literally where will I live? With who? What city? So many things.

But amidst all the unknowing, I do know one thing 100%. I have a great big Father in Heaven who loves me and wants to succeed.

With that knowledge, I am going to be faithful in the little. Our generation is PASSIONATE and it's beautiful. But sometimes we think that success in God's eyes is the same as success in the world's eyes. So we all strive to be christian speakers, pastors, worship leaders, rappers...something. Because we know God has big plans for us(and He does) but remember, that our human definition of big is not God's definition.

Be faithful in the little. Be faithful in the person or place that is right in front of you. See where God has you TODAY. Not a year from now and not next week but TODAY. And when you do need to make a decision about next year, next month, next week, or even tomorrow, spend some serious time consulting God about it. He loves you so much and WANTS to help you and LOVES you. All you have to do is ask.

Sometimes being faithful in the little means simply praying and reading your bible...actually that's always what it means. Always pray. Always spend time with Jesus. Always want His will for your life. Seek first the kingdom of God....and He'll take care of everything else.

And remember, little is also in human terms. Being faithful in the little today is actually being faithful in the BIG in the Kingdom.

Choosing to be faithful in the little today,
Crissy