20 signs that you should go to Kenya (with me)

1) your heart melted at this picture and you wanted to love/know/hug these kids immediately 

2) you love to serve 

3) you feel called to missions but haven't had a chance to go yet 

4) you are a doctor/dentist/nurse/something medical and or medical related student/person and want to give free medical care to people who would really love it

5) you are a teacher and would love to get some out of country experience 

6) you love people 

7) you like eating good food 

8) you love 18 hour plane rides 

9) you've seen lion king and therefore know 6 Swahili words: Asante sana = thank you , rafiki = friend, hakuna matata = I think you guys know and Simba = lion 

10) you like to meet new people 

11) you like having dusty and dirt covered feet 

12) you love asking people for money 

13) you like to dance (Kenyans love to dance...and that's an understatement) 

14) you love being the center of attention. When everyone else is black, white skin "kind of" stands out 15) you enjoy telling other people how much Jesus loves them 

16) you enjoy being challenged and pushed out of your comfort zone 

17) you hate cell service and wouldn't mind losing it for two weeks 

18) you've never eaten goat. Because I guarantee I'll make you try it at least once. I'm sweet like that.

19) you like chai tea

20) you think I'm great and you would just love to spend 16 days with me

Redemption.

Well.......hello friends! 

I can't believe I haven't blogged since I got back from Kenya. Reading my blogs from this summer makes me miss that place so much and I am already planning my trip back in June. But until then...I have some very exciting news!

But here's a little history first (it's not long..okay it kinda is...just bear with me).

So my major is Psychology. I chose Psychology because it's easy (sorry, psyc majors) and I don't really like school that much. Basically, I didn't put a lot of thought into my major. My parents said I had to have a degree so this is what I chose & I honestly didn't think I would do anything with it. Freshman year my relationship with God struggled a lot when I turned to partying for my satisfaction instead of Him. Even though I had a lot of friends, I felt alone in my struggle with alcohol and I didn't think anyone cared about me. 

Now, rewind to this summer, my last week in Kenya. I'm sitting with my Kenyan dad at dinner and we are talking about dreams he has for his life. Starting a high school, maybe a technical school and finally he says "I have an idea you might like." He then begins to tell me about this idea he has for a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. There are of course centers like this in Nairobi but Nairobi is an hour and a half away from Naivasha, where I lived this summer. It is in a place called the "Great Rift Valley", this area is full of people, most of which don't have the means to make it to Nairobi. This center would be the only one of it's kind in this area, people would literally come from hundreds of miles away to this place and they would be able to find help! We also already have the land so hey God, thanks for being awesome and providing...you rock.

And it all comes together...these people will need serious counseling and help as they begin a new chapter of their lives. Hello, psychology degree with lots of psychology friends who love Jesus and will help (slash I will make them). People who have struggled with something feel better confiding in someone that has also struggled with that...hello, I used to struggle with alcohol. Where will we put this big center? Oh, my Kenyan family already has a lot of property available and ready to go? That works out well.

Guys, Jesus is more faithful and big and awesome than you could ever dream/think/imagine/hope. Only HE could have worked ALL of these things out. 

My heart is to serve. My heart is for Kenya. My heart is for Jesus. All of these things come together with this project and I. AM. PUMPED. I hope you're getting excited too because this is so freaking exciting (can I say freaking?)!!!

Here's where you come into play. If you had any sort of response to this (even if you hated it), I'm going to ask you to do one of the following things...

1) PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. and then PRAY AGAIN! This will not happen without prayer, not even one single bit of it!

2) Support us financially! The first part of this project will be putting up the main wall, which will cost about $8,000. Woo! Big number, but I figure that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills...so I think $8,000 is in His budget.

-Send all checks/cash to: 

Crissy Cano

5545 Cranberry Drive

Fort Worth, Tx 76137

3) COME WITH US! There is no better way to see what is happening somewhere other than to SEE IT HAPPEN! We will have a team going in the beginning of June...but I will be there all month. If you want to come, please don't let anything stop you. Kenya rocks. You'll love it. Pinky swear.

4) PRAY! again. And follow our story as we journey through this exciting time with Jesus! Please leave your e-mail as a comment on this blog OR email me with the title "Redeemed Project 2013" and I will add you to the email list!

5) TELL YOUR CHURCH ABOUT IT! The only way that we can get projects like this going is by telling people about it cause the church is big and it's so fun when we all get together and party. If you want me to come speak at your church or you just want info so your church can partner with us, also leave your email in a comment and let me know. I love traveling so any excuse to leave College Station and I'M THERE!

So like I said, we have $8,000 to raise, people! We serve a BIG God and I am ready to watch Him provide for this project in a FLASH! It's fun to have faith in God and let him blow your mind. I just love that. 

The country of Kenya is like family to me. I love it, I know it and I care deeply for it. This project is so important to me because Kenya has done so much for me...I can't help but serve Jesus here too. Okay and I'll be honest...I JUST LOVE KENYA. I love Kenyans. I love Swahili. I love brown eyes. I love Kenyan food. I love Kenyan music. I love Kenyan school uniforms. I love Kenyan countryside. I love roasted corn that you get on the side of the road. I think you guys get it. I love that place and everything it's got to offer.

Lastly, the dirty details of this project will get more tedious as we go but what we know so far is that we will of course need a main building but we will also need dormitories for the patients,  employee housing and a kitchen. These are just the beginning of needs for this place - we will also need help training counselors and setting up this place. I will tell you guys more as soon as I know more. But just keep these needs in mind if you want to come over and help out :)

Okay and actually last, BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST! I have left out one of the BIGGEST parts of this project. My American partner in crime for this thing! Her name is Shalee Thomas and she freaking rocks, people. It took me coming to Kenya 3 times to give God all of my heart and say that I would move there & spend my life there...Shalee? She spent two weeks in Kenya and was ready to go forever. Jealous of her faith? Yeah, get in line. Anyways, we met during her time in Kenya this year and instantly became friends. We had some incredible God spurred conversations that lead to more God spurred conversations once I got back in America and now we've decided to partner up. So basically she's awesome and faithful and has the best country accent in the world. So find her on facebook, stalk her, love her, call her if you want...whatever, she'll love it. I just had to brag on her a bit because I wouldn't be doing this without her.

Thank you for reading this blog that is entirely too long because I am just ENTIRELY TOO EXCITED about this stinking project! Remember, leave your email so I can spam your inbox with exciting updates (just kidding, I hate spam, it tastes gross...so I won't do that). And please be praying with us as we start this BIG journey! 

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,

    your sins like the morning mist.

Return to me,

    for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22

This verse will serve as the prayer for this project. Jesus loves redemption and this will be all about redemption. So thankful He redeemed us, ya know?

In his JOYOUS name,

Crissy

P.S. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not English major, so...sorry about how many grammatical errors are in this blog.

[22] things I learned in Kenya.

1) People aren’t joking when they say you can get malaria, so you should probably not laugh when they call somewhere a “malaria prone area.”

2) Kenyan schoolchildren will never ever get sick of having their picture taken. Even if you do it every single day for 2 months.

3) When you say “hello” to most people in Kenya, they will usually answer “I’m fine” and the sooner you understand that, the better.

4) Kenyans are the best dancers in the world. Ever. Period.

5) Loving Jesus has nothing to do with where you are in the world, as long as you are in His will. He doesn’t love me any more than He loves you because I served Him in Kenya this summer.

6) Elementary school children will try to rub your skin and see if it will turn their skin white…everyday.

7) “Cold” and “Hot” have completely different definitions in Kenya than they do in America.

8) Just because someone calls you “my sister” does not mean they like you…it means they want you to buy all of the stuff from their store & charge you way more than it’s worth.

9) Regardless of what my 5 year old brain thinks, all animals do not love me & in fact most of them will run away and/or bite me when I try to go near them. (Insert the moments when I tried to pet cows, goats, sheep, donkeys, chickens, zebras [not a typo] and a really mean dog).

10) Most places that say they have “wifi” are liars and I will forgive them eventually for deceiving my stupid, needy, internet needing, American heart.

11) Living with a Kenyan family is the best thing you could do for your weight. Not only have I lost 10 pounds but I have eaten more vegetables & fruit this summer than I have in my whole entire life.

12) Seeing the kids that you know personally succeed in their classes is one of the best feelings in the whole wide world (dear parents & teachers, I know you already understand this…and you must know that you have the best jobs in the world!).

13) Mosquito nets hate me. I know this is true because every time I try to drape my net over my bed, we get in a serious fight that usually ends with a net lying on my face while I try to sleep.

14) My nails grow a lot faster than I can keep up with. And are apparently too strong for normal nails clippers. I’m currently typing with my nails instead of my fingertips.

15) Seeing the smile on my orphanage girl’s faces every time we are reunited after school will never, ever get old. 

16) Learning Swahili is a lot harder than people will tell you it is…do not believe them when they tell you it is easy.

17) Kenyans pronounce about 90% of the English language in a different way than Americans, when you decide to be a teacher for the summer…remember this. (Insert pronunciations here…for example, girl = gall, mechanic = meck-a-neck, flirt = flat, anything with an “a” like potatoes or tomatoes is pronounced with a soft a….instead of po-TAY-toe, it is  po-tah-toe.)

18) Kenyan flies are much more adventurous than American flies. They also don’t care how many times you swat them…they will keep coming back. Rude flies.

19) Being white in Kenya can either be a really great thing or a really bad thing. Examples – when buying things, it’s horrible; you will be charged at least 4 times the actual price. But when going places, people will be extremely nice to you simply because you’re white.

20) Kenyan tea kicks American tea’s butt.

21) God knows your heart better than you do. (Okay so maybe I knew this before Kenya but my Savior proved this fact over & over & OVER again this summer).

22) I am surrounded by the most encouraging & incredible people in the entire world. Not just in America but also in Kenya. The Lord has perfectly crafted my friends & family to love me and encourage me in every single part of my life. I am so thankful to have these relationships all over the world.

I have learned so much more than just these 22 things but I think that this summed up my time here pretty well. I cannot believe that tomorrow evening (afternoon for you all in America) I will be leaving the place where I fell in love with Jesus in a whole new way. I remember thinking that two months was a long time...how incredibly wrong I have been. While I am so sad to leave, I am so thankful for my time here and it just shows how much God loves me...which is so much. My time here has been fruitful, CRAZY, adventurous, hilarious, humbling, silly, fun, loving, amazing and perfect. 

Consider the birds.

"Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!"

Luke 12:24

I'll be honest. I was scared about this summer. I was scared about being by myself. I was scared that I would miss my friends and my family. I was scared of the food I was going to eat. I was scared about all the things that I would miss out in America. Basically my flesh was SCREAMING for me to do what I wanted to do and by the grace & strength of God, my Spirit won that battle. 

Even in my heart of hearts, I knew that God was going to do great things in my heart this summer and while I was SO excited to experience them, being so unsure of what my summer looked like...really freaked me out. What if the kids hated me? What if I was bored? How will I live all summer without any friends? 

Isn't it funny how much God can do when we think we know what He's going to do? 

He absolutely blew my expectations out of the water. I didn't have any, I was just ready to serve Him & yet He still taught me that I did have expectations. I really thought that I was going to count the cost this summer, that I was going to "rough it" for the gospel. I'll be honest with you guys, other than using a squatty potty every once in a while...my life has been the opposite of rough.

So while I'm reflecting on what God did - in - me this summer and how He changed my heart, I realized that I was missing out on one HUGE thing that God was trying to reveal to me.

I wasn't thinking about how God felt about the people that I was with all summer.

When I see street boys with holes in their shoes, sniffing glue bottles and I am heartbroken by poverty - I am feeling a little bit of how God feels about poverty. Do you know that God is even more brokenhearted about the 147 million orphans in the world than I am? When I had malaria & felt like I understood what those who had malaria had gone through - I am feeling the depth of God's sadness when people die from malaria everyday. While I eat everyday & pray for those that don't have - I am joining with God who is also completely broken about the 25,000 people that died from starvation...today.

I usually don't think about God's feelings about the world. It wasn't until I was completely overcome with sadness for some of the people that I have interacted with that I realized that God was sharing His sadness with me in these moments.  God hates the injustices in the world, just like we do.

Another side to this, is that the joy that I feel when I see my kids smiling is also the joy that God feels when He sees them. When I can't stop laughing at the games that we are playing, God is laughing too...giggling at the dance moves & silly songs.

I spent so much time thinking about myself that I forgot to consider the birds. I forgot to realize that God takes care of ravens (an ugly, gross, worthless bird - check out the previous verses) so OF COURSE, He will take care of me this summer. I spent so much time thinking about myself this summer that I forgot to think about God. Yes, I have grown and the Lord has challenged me but I think if I start seeing things the way that God sees them, I can learn so much more about His character. 

I realized that God is not just in the life saving malaria medicine or the food for the starving families but in the everyday moments. He is in the "me, teacher, I know the answer!" moments and the dance party with 3rd graders moments and He is in the moments when I am all alone (no matter what country I'm in).

Transparent.

Usually I try to make my posts pretty, this isn't that pretty, just honest. Bear with me. 

I wish I could freeze time. Freeze my thoughts. Freeze my views. Freeze my world. Fly back to America & when I come back to Kenya, not a day or even a moment has gone by. I want to believe that going back to America is what God has for me. I want to believe that God has more to accomplish in my life in America. I know that He does. I know He does because He's faithful. That doesn't make my heart hurt any less. But it's really hard for me believe that when God has made me love this place so much. I am so confused. 

I don't understand why I would fall in love so deeply with a place that I would have to leave. I love that God made the world so big and beautifully. I love that there are so many parts of it for us to explore. The hard part of it being so big is that it allows me to have best friends that will live 8,000 miles away from me. I'm not sure how to process this. I don't even know how to live like this. 

This wasn't just a 2 week mission trip. There aren't 5 kids names I'm going to remember. There is an orphanage of kids, an entire school of kids, a staff of teachers and a family that I know by name & very personally. Not to mention all of my best friends in Nairobi. How do I just move on with my life? What do I do about these people? 

My love language is time. Ask my friends. Ask my parents. I am so much happier when we've spent real time together. I show my love through time. I will make a date with you & keep it even if the rest of my day is filled to the brim with priorities. I absolutely love people. I love seeing people, I love hearing their stories and I love knowing them. My love language is spending time with the people in my life. So once again, how do I say goodbye to people that I love...that I won't spend time with for possibly a year? 

I don't even know how to answer that question properly. I have tears running down my cheeks just thinking about saying goodbye. Just thinking about how to find the words to say thank you for what they've given me this summer. Because I'll never be able to pay them back what I owe them. I could give them all the money in the world but I could never give them their time. They gave me cooking lessons. They gave me Swahili lessons. They danced with me. They sang with me. They shared their homes with me. They shared their classrooms with me. They shared their hearts with me. They loved me. Immediately. From the beginning & without question. Surely, this is what Jesus had in mind when He spoke of believers fellowshipping together. 

2 weeks is just enough time for a short term mission trip. That's what I decided was not enough so I came for 2 months this summer. But 2 weeks is all I have left. I don't even understand how God could possibly love me this much to know that this summer was exactly what I needed. 

I'm so thankful that I get to spend my whole life making Him famous. 

I know that I still have time left & I should cherish every moment with joy and happiness. Trust me when I say that I am doing exactly that but I just had to be transparent with you guys tonight. I need prayer. Prayer for direction. Prayer for trusting Jesus. And I need prayer for these next 13 days...that will undoubtedly be filled with so many goodbyes. 

I'm sad today, yes, but most of the time I am just thankful. Because I couldn't be sad if I hated this place, if I hadn't of had the best summer of my entire life, if I didn't love everything about this country (yes, even you ugali). I am so overwhelmingly, incredibly thankful. To my family, my friends, my supporters and my Jesus.

Joyful.

Capture Gratitude.

This summer has gone by swiftly and perfectly. While it has gone by way too quickly, I have experienced some of the best moments of my entire life. I took the following idea from a girl named Mandie Joy, read her story and understand why I'm so inspired by her. Anyways, the past couple weeks have been a blur - good things have happened, bad things have happened and God has been in the center of them all. I just wanted to spend a post celebrating his goodness in the little moments of my life...not just the "I held a monkey" moments. So here we go. My first ever capture gratitude.

Joyce's smile. It always makes me happy.

Kenyan skies.

Mombasa beach. Absolutely gorgeous.

Praying before every break. I love thanking God with these kids.

Elephants. I love elephants so much.

These amazing girls spoke so much truth into my life.

Reunions! I LOVE reunions. Especially with crazy teachers.

Kenyan Best Friends. Cannot explain how Christ-centered and beautiful this friendship is. Love you to the moon & back my Jaya Awinja :)

Feeding a baby buffalo. I can't explain how much I loved this moment.

Another of one of my ridiculously crazy Kenyan (okay..."American") best friends. I've never laughed more with one person in my entire life.

The first picture I ever took with my orphanage kids. I had no idea how much I would fall in love with each and every one of them. 

This is a small picture of my life this summer. I hope you remember to capture gratitude in the little moments of life because we can get caught up in ourselves so much that we sometimes worship creation versus worshiping the Creator.

Lastly, I am ridiculously thankful for malaria. Many of you knew what I walked through when I had it and many of you prayed fervently for me all week. I am so thankful to have overcome this disease but it really wasn't even as bad as it could have been. People all over the continent of Africa die everyday from malaria simply because of lack of funds or lack of knowledge about the disease. My medicine costs me 5 dollars. FIVE dollars. And people die from this disease...every. single. day. I am joyful to have had this disease because now I can relate with people who have it and don't have a warm bed, don't have a mom to take care of them and don't have money to provide for themselves. I had all of those things and I was still miserable. I can't imagine those who don't have those things. God absolutely healed me & your prayers made my life so much better but I am thankful that I wasn't healed immediately. I am so thankful to share in something with the people in Kenya. I love all parts of this country, the beautiful parts and the hard parts.

 God is in all of them.

The Simple Life.

It's pretty funny how much I think I need to live. I clearly missed the "do not store up treasures on earth" part of Jesus' message. I would say that I don't have treasures but when I clearly examine what I have, I would be lying.

I knew that God was really going to break me this summer and teach me things. I had no idea he would teach me about how I live in excess. After all, I'm spending my summer in Kenya! By myself! And a lot of people posted on Facebook about how great I was for being so sacrificial. 

But Jesus could care less about what people think of me. He doesn't just want my summer. He wants my life. I'm reading this fantastic book. "7" by Jen Hatmaker. It's about finding the places of excess in your life & giving them up. I encourage you to read it if you would like to be wrecked.

God had been chiseling away at the "excess" part of my life since January and I think it's starting to finally make a dent. I mean give me a break, the "American Dream" of "more, more, more" has been working on me for 22 years. It's gonna take some serious work to get rid of that mindset. Rome wasn't built in a day. And those ruins are still around.

That being said, after 7 months of thinking about how rich I am (and buying more)...I'm starting to realize that thinking isn't enough. I did have a slight moment where I graciously sponsored a needy Ugandan child. So let me toot my 25 dollar horn. Please look at my holiness. Gosh. I really thought I was doing something great. I mean I guess it was okay. Like filthy rags are okay.

God expects so much more of me. He was not telling us to "think" of our neighbors as ourselves or love our neighbors as ourselves on Christmas or Thanksgiving when donations programs have lots of commercials.

He also wasn't kidding when He said we can't serve two masters. Please tell me you don't serve money. How much were your shoes? How many swimsuits do you have? (girls?) How much was your lunch? This is not in any way to tell you of your sin. I'm talking to myself because so many times I said I didn't serve money. Then I looked down at my $30 shoes (please don't look at my other 20 pairs). Or in my swimsuit DRAWER, because I have so many. Because I can't be seen wearing the same swimsuit in pictures. My last lunch in America was $20. What a deal.

So here I am, in Kenya. A midst some of the greatest poverty in the world...truly broken for it. For the first time ever. Did I mention this is my 3rd time in Kenya? Guess I'm hard headed (understatement).

Did I also mention I came to Kenya with two suitcases full of clothes? Even in poverty, I chose to be blind and live in excess. I bet God was giggling when He saw me packing and said, "Oh how I will break you of these desires." Well. He did it. I'm broken. And it sucks. Because I like have sandals in every color for every occasion. And I like having more sundresses than some people have underwear (I wish I were kidding). And I really enjoy getting complimented on my cute outfits, I mean who doesn't? If I don't have a lot of stuff, who will think I'm cute? Once again, these are the thoughts that penetrate my mind. I'm so embarrassed.

Part of me is excited to return to America and part of me is incredibly scared. What will people think of me if I don't go shopping with them? Or if all my clothes are old? I guess I can untag pictures of myself on Facebook (gotta love idols of approval). Or probably the biggest fear of all, if I give all my money away...what will I have? As if God doesn't own the cattle on a thousand hills. But above all else I am more scared of living outside of God's will than I am of anything that earth can do to me. Above all else I would rather be homeless with no teeth & completely in God's will than comfortable, clean and with new clothes and being outside of God's will. I'm excited to start this journey of truly living out the Gospel.
I've been studying scripture for so long that I forgot to actually DO scripture.

And I'm almost positive that doing life with Jesus will be so
much more fun than just reading about Him.

I've been without a lot of things this summer. Most of them that I thought I "needed" to live. You know what I realized most? I just need Jesus. Period. Please share with me in some of the things He has blessed me with this summer.

Sweet moments with my first graders.

Experiencing Joyce eating her first oreo over! She loved it.

Remembering that having a new puppy around is always fun.

Walking home from church with my kids. One of my favorite parts of every week.

Being with Elizabeth as she rode in a boat for the first time!

My life is incredibly simple. I know what everyday will look like and that's completely okay with me. I'm just doing life with these people. I'm not solving world hunger or ending poverty and that's okay because no one person could do those things. I'm spending time with these kids & teachers and learning about them and we love each other and it's great.

 The simple life, I've come to learn, is the best life. 

Lillian.

Everyday I talk to Lillian, she smiles and puts her hands over her mouth because she still finds me, the white auntie, funny. Even if I look at Lillian, she giggles uncontrollably. I love her so good.

I love Lillian's hugs. I love Lillian's questions. I love Lillian's beautiful chocolate eyes. Lillian also loves me. We talk and laugh and play until our bellies hurt from laughing so hard. 

Lillian speaks English probably the best out of all the kids and she is no where near the oldest. If you look at Lillian's school uniform you will see 4 badges. Getting a badge at school means that you scored the highest out of everyone in your class on your exam, this means that out of the 8 subjects and 30 students in her class, Lillian got the highest grade on 4 of those exams. She is so smart and it's so cool to watch her learn.

The craziest part of Lillian's story? Lillian came from an extremely destitute situation. The people who run this orphanage only took in the most needy children they could find. Lillian was one of those children. She had one HIV positive mother to take care of her and a grandma who tried dearly but couldn't provide for sweet Lillian. Had someone not intervened, Lillian probably wouldn't even be in school today, much less making the highest grades out of anyone in her class.

I can't help but think...what if Lillian had never been rescued? How many Einsteins are hiding in poverty, just waiting for someone to send them to school? 

This reminds so much of what the Father wants to do for us. So many times we are stuck in spiritual poverty because we truly cannot provide for ourselves. We NEED Jesus to rescue us to help us succeed in what He has for us. But what if Lillian's grandma and very sick mother had said no to help? What if they thought that they could do the best for her? Would Lillian be succeeding today? Maybe...but probably not. Our Savior came to rescue us, bind up the brokenhearted and proclaim freedom for the captives. Guys, we are the captives. We keep ourselves captive SO many times simply because we think that where we are is the best we can be. What a lie from the enemy. 

Lillian inspires me. She knows where she came from and it doesn't hinder her. 

I can't let my past hinder me anymore. 

Jesus wants to use my story and your story and Lillian's story,
he rescued all of us and he has redeemed all of us to do His will. 

I adore this little lady. So much. 

How Great Thou Art

Do you remember being a little kid around Christmastime? When you would hope and pray and wish for that one gift that would make your 8 year old life? The end all be all of gifts. And then finally Christmas morning comes and you open your favorite, most anticipated present. At this moment your heart is so filled with joy & excitement that you literally don’t know what to do. Do you say thank you to your parents for giving you EXACTLY what you always wanted or do you immediately start playing with the toy and never do anything else? Usually you’re running around with it for awhile before you remember to say thank you, but it comes. And it will come for months after when you are still playing with your most prized possession, and then many years later you will remember that Christmas morning.

My favorite Christmas morning was when I received a Barbie dream house. Complete with a garage and in house elevator. It was so awesome. I’ve never screamed so loudly in my life, my parent’s poor eardrums. I will never forget the joy I felt that morning. My parents made my dreams come true right before my eyes. I’m also pretty sure I played with that Barbie dream house long after girls should be playing with Barbie things but whatever; it was a Barbie DREAM HOUSE. You don’t just toss those babies.

To not downsize what God has done in any way this summer, Kenya is my Barbie dream house (metaphorically). The question “what will I be when I grow up?” has finally been answered. I thought I knew how much I loved Kenya. I thought I knew how much God loved me. I thought I knew what this summer would be like.

I was so wrong. And I am so glad about that.

I've been in Kenya for exactly one month. My life is incredible. I have been truly blessed to not only do ministry through opportunities the Lord has given but I’ve also been able to explore the amazing things Kenya itself has to offer. For example, the second tallest building in Kenya overlooking all of Nairobi, amazing.

For the first 2 weeks of my summer, I worked in an orphanage and a school where God made me fall in love with kids and teachers that I had never met before. He humbled me in such a way that not only will I ever be the same; I simply cannot be who I used to be after doing life with these people.

For the last 2 weeks I’ve served all over Kenya with a ton of different people and organizations. I had been praying about where God had me once I moved here after graduation. Through RIDICULOUS divine appointment, God has given me some amazing opportunities to pray about and work towards.

I never thought I’d make “best friends” in Kenya. I was wrong. I never thought I’d had a lot of friends in Kenya. Once again, wrong. The Lord is intricately weaving relationships and contacts here in Kenya so there is almost no way I could ever feel lonely or out of place.

I can’t believe it’s been a month.
I can’t believe how much this place has truly captured my heart.
I love everything about Kenya.
I absolutely adore my life here.

I have been praying my whole entire life to be where God has me and to know what that will look like. I regularly find myself thinking how great Thou art? How great that God made me to love Kenya so intimately that I actually know I am in His will when I am here? How great that God is using all my passions to glorify Him? How great that God loves me so deeply that I’m never alone even when I’m 8,000 miles away from my earthly family. How great Thou art. I am so incredibly blessed to know that Kenya is not just a Christmas present that I will outgrow. It is something I have been waiting my whole life for and I can’t wait to fall in love over and over and over again with this country.

I am so thankful.

I am so content.

I am so joyful.

I am home.

Healing through Hip Hop

So let me just explain something to you. God absolutely and without a doubt knows your heart better than you do. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will stop fighting His will for your life.

That being said, this weekend was awesome. So, so, SO awesome. There is group called K-Krew in Kenya. Let me tell you about them. 10 years ago, the founders Moz & Njugush realized that there was no gospel music in Kenya so they decided to do something about it. They joined together rappers, djs, dancers, singers...anything and everything musical and started K-Krew. And the rest is history. Today they have a tv show with over 30 million viewers and in the past year, 24,000 people have come to Christ.

How do they get such astounding numbers? They go on what they call "missions" and spread the gospel. A typical mission runs like this, a warm up of dancing for everyone in the room (missions are usually in high schools but can really be anywhere) and then a message from maybe Njugush or Moz or whoever, this then leads to a prayer of salvation. Afterwards they feature upcoming artists around Kenya & East Africa to sing, rap and spread their music to more people. All of their music is Christ driven by the way, representing Jesus in every single lyric. So simple and so effective, why? Because they're not trying to make the gospel glamorous, they're trying to make the gospel known.

We got to participate in 6 of their missions this weekend. Let me rephrase. I got to dance on stage and worship Jesus through hip hop with K-Krew and hundreds of teenage kids. If you know me, you know that this is what Heaven feels like to me. If you know me, you know that I couldn't have been happier to be with these people.

And to top it off, I became basically BFFs (haha) with all of them. I told Moz&Njugush that I would be happy joining K-Krew and being the only white person. They pretended to think I was funny.

God has made me (and you) so intricately. Sometimes I wonder if every desire and passion I have can really be used to glorify God. After this weekend, I will never question that again.

I love Kenya. I love hip hop. And I love dancing. All of those passions can glorify God at the same time and that is so incredibly cool.

What do you love? Just DO that for Jesus. Stop waiting to have the right answer or the right timing, God's waiting for you to remember how perfectly He made you. He really wants you to know that He knows your heart better than you do and He can give you the most amazing life you could ever ask for.

In Him,
Crissy

Joyce.

I stare at Joyce, on of our orphanage girls who is 7 & in 1st grade. She works so diligently on her paper and concentrates on all she is doing. I can only imagine what must be going through her mind as she takes her English exam. Because Joyce doesn't speak english. When I talk to her she just laughs and wants to play with my camera. How in the world is she supposed to take an exam written in English?

I have no idea but girl is trying.

I love Joyce for so many reasons. The main one is that out of my week and 4 days of being with her, I've seen her not smile maybe once. That means she's been smiling 99.9% of the time I've seen her. That is one joyful girl. She reminds me of the joy the Father has for me when He sees me. She is also a beautiful picture of the children Jesus talked about. You know the ones that would enter the Kingdom of Heaven and sit at his right hand? Yeah, Joyce will totally be there.

In case you would like to fall in love with Joyce too -

So who knows where Joyce will go or what she will grow up to be but I know that she has 31 brothers and sisters and a LOT of mom's & dads & aunties (me!!) who will make sure she is successful! We are all cheering Joyce on and everyone chips in to help her with her english. By the way, Joyce took an English reading exam the next day with me by her side to mark her paper. I marked her with 44 out of 50 words correct with reading. She may be quiet but she has the loudest heart I've ever seen. Joyce inspires me and the most conversation we've ev er had was - "How are you, Joyce? - "Fine." Good thing smiles are universal. [sorry that was kind of cheesy, I'm fine with that because it's true].

Reunited and it feels so good.

Jambo! Let me tell you how good it feels to be back in Kenya. Your mind is a funny thing you know. It remembers so much more than just what your eyes see. It remembers sounds, smells and sensations of touch. I've been in Kenya since Wednesday evening and staying with a family that is a friend of mine. They are Joy & Rich Lee, easily the most accommodating & loving family that I've ever met. I've been so blessed to get to share my time in Nairobi with them and their two beautiful daughters, Abigail (5) & Kasi (3). Tomorrow I leave for Naivasha to go to a children's home, which is where I will be spending the majority of my summer. I spoke with the pastor on the phone this evening and he said that everyone was very excited to meet me. I don't think they realize how excited I am to meet them :) While I'm there I will be teaching English, leading devotionals, helping with chores and of course...DANCING! There are many girls & boys in this children's home and my goal is that through this blog I can introduce some of them to you! Usually my blogs will be longer and more in depth but my time here so far has been adjusting to jet lag and catching up with my old friends and making new ones. I have really been blessed with a community of friends in Kenya that take care of me and make sure I'm alright. That is a blessing that I never could have imagined. Other than daily events, God has really been teaching me to let Him speak and stop trying to talk all the time. I really like to plan my life and God is reminding me that when He made the world, He was thinking of me -- so maybe I should stop trying to do his job. In Him, Crissy

Your love never fails.

I think if I had to pick what God was teaching me the most this semester - through surrendering to Him and His will - I would say that it's learning and believing that His love NEVER fails.


His love doesn't fail when I do. His love doesn't fail when I don't believe in it. His love doesn't fail when I want it to. His love doesn't fail when I don't trust in Him. His love NEVER fails. My sinful human heart just can't wrap my head around this concept.


I've never been more in love with Jesus than I have been this semester. I've never cared about His people around the world and His heart more than I have this semester. I've also never had to trust Him in the way that I've had to trust Him this semester. It has been like jumping off a cliff and hoping that there's water at the bottom to land on. But there has been water there...every. single. time.


Exactly one month ago the Lord asked me to give up something that was very important in my life. This thing had been my life for the past 3 years. It defined me at Texas A&M. Giving this thing up was not just something I would do for no reason and Jesus knew that. Because He knows me better than I know myself, He reminded me of HIS plans for me and not my plans and He reminded that He LOVES me and KNOWS better. 


After many tears on my own and many tearful conversations, I closed the door on that chapter of my life, not having any idea of what was to come. I legitimately have no idea how I will spend my last year at Texas A&M, I am relying on my Savior to 100% provide in that area. I'll be honest when I say that this is new for me. I've never been in such an uncomfortable place that I've had to rely on Him in this much, which is why it makes so much sense that I'm here now.


I leave for Kenya in 22 days. Wow. I don't have all my money yet but I'm not freaking out. I'm not worried and I'm not stressed out. I've been taught too many times that if He takes care of the entire universe, why in the world would He not take care of me? 

His love never fails.

Did anyone else need this reminder today? That no matter what happens, His LOVE for you will never fail you? To believe that Jesus will fail you is to believe that He doesn't love you. Don't let yourself believe that. Trust me when I say that He will just come back and slap you in the face with a big bowl of love and prove you wrong.


Sacrificing to yourself and surrendering to God's will can be scary but it's good to be in a place where everything will fail if Jesus doesn't come through. Why? Because it means you can't rely on yourself and you have to rely on Jesus. His love will never fail.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

Crissy

Resting in Peace.

I haven't been reading my Bible, I've been pulling all nighters and I've been sleeping all weekend. Last week was horrible...to say the least. I got about 8 hours of sleep in 4 days and when I was awake and not studying, I was dancing or working out. I was exhausted. And I didn't make time for Jesus and so now I was not only physically exhausted, but emotionally and spiritually exhausted too.

When I get tired like this, every single thing that comes up immediately stresses me out. Usually I turn to Jesus or my word or my friends and calm myself down but because I had excluded all of those things from my life, I had nothing to turn to and honestly, I just fell apart. But today I finally read my bible and I finally feel whole again.

⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
whose confidence is in him.
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8

To say that this verse is exactly what I need is an understatement. It feels as if the Lord gave this verse to Jeremiah in hopes of me reading it today.

I have been unbelievably stressed about Kenya. Raising $5,000 just seems so foreign to me. I'm not sure how it's possible and I've been unsure if God was going to provide. I KNOW. I'm an idiot. But I turn into a completely different person when I'm tired.

This verse hit me hard. What I loved the most about this verse is that it does not say that heat or drought WON'T come, it says that the tree will not fear or worry when those things come.

My trust is in the LORD and my confidence lies with my Savior. He knows me. He loves me. He does not forget about me. My roots are planted within His stream and I will not fear when drought comes because His tree never fails to bear fruit.

So maybe you're like me. Maybe you forget that Jesus loves you sometimes. Maybe you forget that even when you're busy and you're in a bad mood, that He still wants to talk to you and be friends with you. Or maybe worst of all (also like me) you forget that no matter how long you go without talking to Him, that He will still wants to talk to you, just as much.

I have about a month of school left and I want to freak out about papers and tests and assignments and life but I know better. I have a Savior who wants to cover my every single need and while it's good to prioritize my life, worrying does nothing for it. He will give me the strength, He will give me the endurance and He will give me the peace to finish this journey. All I have to do is trust Him.

Sounds easy enough, right? Let's do it. Let's live in peace today, free from worry and doubt and just trust Jesus with this beautiful life that He's given us.

In overwhelming peace today,
Crissy

The Friendship That Changed My Life

"There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends."
John 15:13

Essentially the thing that is on my mind is the thing that is always on my mind. Kenya. Except it seems so much closer, so much more real. This is probably because I'm booking my plane tickets and I got a sizable donation from my church.

Oh yeah, and the trip is 63 days away.

I am just over two months away from living in Kenya all summer. I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around that, it just doesn't feel real. And just like with everything else God has given me in my life, I feel like I don't deserve it.

In my deliriousness last night, I just had to talk to some of my friends that live in Kenya. I wrote on their walls and sent them messages. Of course they all responded immediately with invitations to visit them and take care of me while I am there. Then it hit me, like really really hit me, I have friends in Kenya. I have friends that are thousands of miles of way that love me and want to see me. And then I realize, Jesus gave them all to me. Jesus loved me SO MUCH that He gave me them.

I'm in shock. I don't understand. I spent a very limited amount of time with these people last summer but Jesus completely sparked a connection within all of our hearts for one another because He knew. He knew I'd be back and He knew it would be for a long time.

I love the American friends that I've had for years. The friends that know my secrets, the friends that get my humor, the friends that choose to laugh at me when I don't make sense (which is often) instead of pointing out my faults, the friends that have wiped away my tears and the friends that have been there for all the moments in between.

I love my Kenyan friends. I've known them for a significantly shorter amount of time than most of my other friends but they are so Christ-centered and so FULL OF LOVE that I can't help but be incredibly thankful for every single one of them, all the time. They are absolutely some of the best people that I have ever met, in fact I get a glimpse of Jesus' love in the way that they love me. Being around them FILLS me with JOY and I soak it in. I can't help but think about their lives and their jobs and their schoolwork and wish that I was there with them because I would just love to hear their voices and see their faces again.

Luckily for me, I will in 63 days :)

But through all these wonderful friendships, whether in America or Kenya or somewhere else in the world, I realize that they all point to the greatest friend of all, the bestfriend that I could truly ever have. Jesus. Human friendships are beautiful and messy and imperfect and hilarious but friendship with Jesus is perfect. I have never had a friend who has never let me down, who has given me wise counsel on what truly would be best for my life in EVERY situation and I have never had a friend who has died a scandalously gruesome death so I might have the life that they wanted me to have.

Can you think of your best friend in the entire world? The person who has truly been there every single time you needed them and the friendship that no fight could ever end?
Got it? Okay, me too.

Now I want you to imagine that friendship being 10,000 times better. More transparency, more love, more truth, more wisdom, more laughs, more late night talks, more inside jokes, more [insert the thing you love most about your friendship here].

Well that's what friendship with Jesus is like.
He is truly the best friend that you could ever have.

How cheesy does that sound? Well I don't care, it's true. He is not concerned with saying the right thing to always make me happy or lying to not hurt my feelings. He also always has my absolute best in mind and He would never dream of hurting me.

Even though I hurt him in a daily basis.
I am the worst friend in the world.

No matter how horribly in sin I find myself, I always come back to this place where I can actually feel Jesus pursuing me. He wants me back. He misses me. HOW could He miss me? I daily fail Him in the most basic aspects of friendship. This is what makes our friendship even more precious.

I don't have to always do the right thing for Jesus to love me. I don't have to always say the right thing to make Jesus pleased with me. I don't have to always be happy with Jesus for Him to rejoice over me. And I definitely don't have to always be a good friend for Jesus to be an unconditional friend to me. But the aspects of His friendship towards me make me want to be those towards Him. He draws me in by never leaving me.

His presence makes it impossible for me to leave.

His friendship changed my life. He chose to be my friend. He chose to love me. And everyday He chooses to keep believing in my and pushing me to be more. The things that He has given me in this life, well I could not have imagined them for myself, ever. He knows my heart so intimately and has consistently shaped my life in the most amazing way. Best. Friend. Ever.

If you haven't experience real intimacy and relationship with Jesus, do it. He will never judge you, condemn you or laugh at you [He will only laugh with you:)]. He loves every single inch of you more than you could ever think or imagine. All you have to do is let Him love you.

Crissy

I'm a missionary? My testimony of how I got here.

So a weird thing happened today. We were supposed to have bible study tonight and I was supposed to give my testimony. I drove 3/12 hours from home and for a lot of the time I was praying about what I should say but I felt like no one would show up, but I wanted to make sure I was ready no matter what.

And then no one showed up.

It was like one of those..."oh that must have been God telling me that" moments. And then a couple minutes ago I felt the urgency to share some of my testimony on here in hopes to encourage and empower. If I'm being honest, I feel like my testimony is not that great. I haven't overcome some ridiculous obstacles and I haven't risen up from the depths of some addiction. But what makes a great testimony? Think of testimonies that have inspired you to change or empowered you to overcome?

Some of them might include overcoming addictions or rising up against overwhelming adversity but ALL of them include running wildly after Jesus and loving Him and His people with every inch of your heart.

So here I am, broken, sinful, humbled and redeemed at the feet of my Father. Because the Bible is NOT about me, my redemption even is NOT about me, my testimony is about Jesus. So being insecure about how "great" my testimony is downplays Jesus and uplifts me. That is the opposite of what we're supposed to do. So I have decided to make His name great and trust that HE is good (which He is).

Here we go. It's long but bear with me.

I grew up in christian home and I lived a pretty "Christian" life. The first time I ventured beyond my own backyard was in 2005 to Montego Bay, Jamaica. I loved everything about new cultures and new places. This trip set the stage for my life today.

Blossom Gardens Orphanage, Montego Bay, Jamaica - 2005

We then went on another trip the following year to Matamoros, Mexico. There was a guy on the trip who spoke Spanish and knew enough english to get by with me at least, who knew a little spanish. We had met a couple that day that explained to him why they weren't dating, because the girl loved Jesus and the guy didn't. The Mexican guy later told me the story in Spanish and English and we somehow figured it out.

I had such joy from this situation because it felt like for the first time, I was using something I had learned. Then my friend Amber said something that I will remember for the rest of my life.

"Maybe you're called to Mexico"

The power of that statement still resonates within my heart today. That statement gave a little bit of my spirit away to missions for Jesus for the first time ever. When I thought about Mexico from then on, I thought that I would spend some time every year going on a trip and being a translator for mission teams. We went to Mexico again a year later and it was just as amazing as the first time. I loved the way my heart felt with those people.

Matamoros, Mexico - 2007

It would be awhile before I left the country to serve Jesus again but it finally came after my sophomore year of college. One of my best friends at the time asked me to come with her to Kenya and Uganda for two weeks of my summer. Obviously I said yes immediately (sorry mom and dad).

Honestly, I didn't think that God could teach me anything in Africa.

Haha. I'll be honest when I say that I was an idiot. I thought that I was called to Mexico and that Africa would just be another notch on my mission trip belt. Ps...If you want notches on your mission trip belt, don't go somewhere that's 24 hours away.

God literally SHATTERED my heart on that trip in 2010. I have never in my entire life seen the kind of poverty that I saw there. I fell in love with every single child that I hugged and I have never felt the Spirit of God so thick...not even in Mexico. I started to become concerned. Then once again, a woman of God named Whitney Hill (at the time-now Koonce) said...

"God didn't give me heart for a certain place, but for a certain type of people"

Like my Savior loves me so much. So I came back from that trip in awe of how big my Daddy was, in love with a whole new group of people and confused at what God had for my life.

Nairobi, Kenya - 2010

But nonetheless I began planning my trip back to Africa for the following year. My junior year consisted of valleys and mountains, where I served God wholeheartedly and where I completely abandoned what it means to be a Christian.

Then at Passion Fort Worth 2011, I finally made the decision to serve God as a missionary full time, one day. I cried my eyes out and accepted that one day my life will probably be living in a hut with no internet access and a weekly bath.

I went back to Kenya in the summer of 2011 so anticipatory of a trip that I had been planning for literally a year. I was so excited to have my senses remember Kenya again. The sights, the sounds, the smells...it all came back so fluidly. I felt at home again. The second the plane landed, my exhaustion could not overcome my JOY of being where I knew God had me. This was easily the most intimate trip of my entire life and this trip made it very real for me of what life would be like if I lived here one day.

Nairobi, Kenya - 2011

So let's fast forward to December 2011. 6 months later. I'm sitting at my desk at Reynolds & Reynolds where I'm listening to a podcast and hearing about people around the world and then it hits me like a ton of bricks. God says very loudly and very clearly,

"I did not call you to be a missionary one day, I called you to be a missionary NOW. Prepare your heart to move to Africa as soon as you graduate"

In case you were wondering...I did start crying in my cubicle. Not a sad cry but a joyful cry, like a cry when you've been waiting to find out if your baby is a boy or a girl and you finally know and you're so excited that you cry! Or when you want to know if you got the job or not and you get the job and you cry! See I knew that God had something different for my life than the life that He had for a lot of people I knew, but I had no idea what.

So fast forward to now. I am finally in the place in my life where I can say that I will be a missionary.

Woah.

All my statements have turned from "will be" to "get to be". I GET to live on another continent? I GET to tell people about Jesus? I GET to know all types of cultures and peoples? I GET to experience poverty and find joy in it? AH. I can't believe that God loves me so much that He chose this life for me. This life that brings me more joy than I could have ever imagined for myself.

Your story may not have the exact same plot as mine but it has the exact same point. To bring Jesus' name glory. He ADORES you. He LOVES you. He has the BEST plans in the world for you if you just listen to His timing.

Hebrews 6:19 says that Hope is the ANCHOR of the soul. Hope is what gets you through the rough patches, Hope is what makes you cling and Hope is faith in ACTION. Hope acts.

In awe of His love tonight,
Crissy