Redemption.

Well.......hello friends! 

I can't believe I haven't blogged since I got back from Kenya. Reading my blogs from this summer makes me miss that place so much and I am already planning my trip back in June. But until then...I have some very exciting news!

But here's a little history first (it's not long..okay it kinda is...just bear with me).

So my major is Psychology. I chose Psychology because it's easy (sorry, psyc majors) and I don't really like school that much. Basically, I didn't put a lot of thought into my major. My parents said I had to have a degree so this is what I chose & I honestly didn't think I would do anything with it. Freshman year my relationship with God struggled a lot when I turned to partying for my satisfaction instead of Him. Even though I had a lot of friends, I felt alone in my struggle with alcohol and I didn't think anyone cared about me. 

Now, rewind to this summer, my last week in Kenya. I'm sitting with my Kenyan dad at dinner and we are talking about dreams he has for his life. Starting a high school, maybe a technical school and finally he says "I have an idea you might like." He then begins to tell me about this idea he has for a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. There are of course centers like this in Nairobi but Nairobi is an hour and a half away from Naivasha, where I lived this summer. It is in a place called the "Great Rift Valley", this area is full of people, most of which don't have the means to make it to Nairobi. This center would be the only one of it's kind in this area, people would literally come from hundreds of miles away to this place and they would be able to find help! We also already have the land so hey God, thanks for being awesome and providing...you rock.

And it all comes together...these people will need serious counseling and help as they begin a new chapter of their lives. Hello, psychology degree with lots of psychology friends who love Jesus and will help (slash I will make them). People who have struggled with something feel better confiding in someone that has also struggled with that...hello, I used to struggle with alcohol. Where will we put this big center? Oh, my Kenyan family already has a lot of property available and ready to go? That works out well.

Guys, Jesus is more faithful and big and awesome than you could ever dream/think/imagine/hope. Only HE could have worked ALL of these things out. 

My heart is to serve. My heart is for Kenya. My heart is for Jesus. All of these things come together with this project and I. AM. PUMPED. I hope you're getting excited too because this is so freaking exciting (can I say freaking?)!!!

Here's where you come into play. If you had any sort of response to this (even if you hated it), I'm going to ask you to do one of the following things...

1) PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. and then PRAY AGAIN! This will not happen without prayer, not even one single bit of it!

2) Support us financially! The first part of this project will be putting up the main wall, which will cost about $8,000. Woo! Big number, but I figure that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills...so I think $8,000 is in His budget.

-Send all checks/cash to: 

Crissy Cano

5545 Cranberry Drive

Fort Worth, Tx 76137

3) COME WITH US! There is no better way to see what is happening somewhere other than to SEE IT HAPPEN! We will have a team going in the beginning of June...but I will be there all month. If you want to come, please don't let anything stop you. Kenya rocks. You'll love it. Pinky swear.

4) PRAY! again. And follow our story as we journey through this exciting time with Jesus! Please leave your e-mail as a comment on this blog OR email me with the title "Redeemed Project 2013" and I will add you to the email list!

5) TELL YOUR CHURCH ABOUT IT! The only way that we can get projects like this going is by telling people about it cause the church is big and it's so fun when we all get together and party. If you want me to come speak at your church or you just want info so your church can partner with us, also leave your email in a comment and let me know. I love traveling so any excuse to leave College Station and I'M THERE!

So like I said, we have $8,000 to raise, people! We serve a BIG God and I am ready to watch Him provide for this project in a FLASH! It's fun to have faith in God and let him blow your mind. I just love that. 

The country of Kenya is like family to me. I love it, I know it and I care deeply for it. This project is so important to me because Kenya has done so much for me...I can't help but serve Jesus here too. Okay and I'll be honest...I JUST LOVE KENYA. I love Kenyans. I love Swahili. I love brown eyes. I love Kenyan food. I love Kenyan music. I love Kenyan school uniforms. I love Kenyan countryside. I love roasted corn that you get on the side of the road. I think you guys get it. I love that place and everything it's got to offer.

Lastly, the dirty details of this project will get more tedious as we go but what we know so far is that we will of course need a main building but we will also need dormitories for the patients,  employee housing and a kitchen. These are just the beginning of needs for this place - we will also need help training counselors and setting up this place. I will tell you guys more as soon as I know more. But just keep these needs in mind if you want to come over and help out :)

Okay and actually last, BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST! I have left out one of the BIGGEST parts of this project. My American partner in crime for this thing! Her name is Shalee Thomas and she freaking rocks, people. It took me coming to Kenya 3 times to give God all of my heart and say that I would move there & spend my life there...Shalee? She spent two weeks in Kenya and was ready to go forever. Jealous of her faith? Yeah, get in line. Anyways, we met during her time in Kenya this year and instantly became friends. We had some incredible God spurred conversations that lead to more God spurred conversations once I got back in America and now we've decided to partner up. So basically she's awesome and faithful and has the best country accent in the world. So find her on facebook, stalk her, love her, call her if you want...whatever, she'll love it. I just had to brag on her a bit because I wouldn't be doing this without her.

Thank you for reading this blog that is entirely too long because I am just ENTIRELY TOO EXCITED about this stinking project! Remember, leave your email so I can spam your inbox with exciting updates (just kidding, I hate spam, it tastes gross...so I won't do that). And please be praying with us as we start this BIG journey! 

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,

    your sins like the morning mist.

Return to me,

    for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22

This verse will serve as the prayer for this project. Jesus loves redemption and this will be all about redemption. So thankful He redeemed us, ya know?

In his JOYOUS name,

Crissy

P.S. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not English major, so...sorry about how many grammatical errors are in this blog.

[22] things I learned in Kenya.

1) People aren’t joking when they say you can get malaria, so you should probably not laugh when they call somewhere a “malaria prone area.”

2) Kenyan schoolchildren will never ever get sick of having their picture taken. Even if you do it every single day for 2 months.

3) When you say “hello” to most people in Kenya, they will usually answer “I’m fine” and the sooner you understand that, the better.

4) Kenyans are the best dancers in the world. Ever. Period.

5) Loving Jesus has nothing to do with where you are in the world, as long as you are in His will. He doesn’t love me any more than He loves you because I served Him in Kenya this summer.

6) Elementary school children will try to rub your skin and see if it will turn their skin white…everyday.

7) “Cold” and “Hot” have completely different definitions in Kenya than they do in America.

8) Just because someone calls you “my sister” does not mean they like you…it means they want you to buy all of the stuff from their store & charge you way more than it’s worth.

9) Regardless of what my 5 year old brain thinks, all animals do not love me & in fact most of them will run away and/or bite me when I try to go near them. (Insert the moments when I tried to pet cows, goats, sheep, donkeys, chickens, zebras [not a typo] and a really mean dog).

10) Most places that say they have “wifi” are liars and I will forgive them eventually for deceiving my stupid, needy, internet needing, American heart.

11) Living with a Kenyan family is the best thing you could do for your weight. Not only have I lost 10 pounds but I have eaten more vegetables & fruit this summer than I have in my whole entire life.

12) Seeing the kids that you know personally succeed in their classes is one of the best feelings in the whole wide world (dear parents & teachers, I know you already understand this…and you must know that you have the best jobs in the world!).

13) Mosquito nets hate me. I know this is true because every time I try to drape my net over my bed, we get in a serious fight that usually ends with a net lying on my face while I try to sleep.

14) My nails grow a lot faster than I can keep up with. And are apparently too strong for normal nails clippers. I’m currently typing with my nails instead of my fingertips.

15) Seeing the smile on my orphanage girl’s faces every time we are reunited after school will never, ever get old. 

16) Learning Swahili is a lot harder than people will tell you it is…do not believe them when they tell you it is easy.

17) Kenyans pronounce about 90% of the English language in a different way than Americans, when you decide to be a teacher for the summer…remember this. (Insert pronunciations here…for example, girl = gall, mechanic = meck-a-neck, flirt = flat, anything with an “a” like potatoes or tomatoes is pronounced with a soft a….instead of po-TAY-toe, it is  po-tah-toe.)

18) Kenyan flies are much more adventurous than American flies. They also don’t care how many times you swat them…they will keep coming back. Rude flies.

19) Being white in Kenya can either be a really great thing or a really bad thing. Examples – when buying things, it’s horrible; you will be charged at least 4 times the actual price. But when going places, people will be extremely nice to you simply because you’re white.

20) Kenyan tea kicks American tea’s butt.

21) God knows your heart better than you do. (Okay so maybe I knew this before Kenya but my Savior proved this fact over & over & OVER again this summer).

22) I am surrounded by the most encouraging & incredible people in the entire world. Not just in America but also in Kenya. The Lord has perfectly crafted my friends & family to love me and encourage me in every single part of my life. I am so thankful to have these relationships all over the world.

I have learned so much more than just these 22 things but I think that this summed up my time here pretty well. I cannot believe that tomorrow evening (afternoon for you all in America) I will be leaving the place where I fell in love with Jesus in a whole new way. I remember thinking that two months was a long time...how incredibly wrong I have been. While I am so sad to leave, I am so thankful for my time here and it just shows how much God loves me...which is so much. My time here has been fruitful, CRAZY, adventurous, hilarious, humbling, silly, fun, loving, amazing and perfect. 

Consider the birds.

"Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!"

Luke 12:24

I'll be honest. I was scared about this summer. I was scared about being by myself. I was scared that I would miss my friends and my family. I was scared of the food I was going to eat. I was scared about all the things that I would miss out in America. Basically my flesh was SCREAMING for me to do what I wanted to do and by the grace & strength of God, my Spirit won that battle. 

Even in my heart of hearts, I knew that God was going to do great things in my heart this summer and while I was SO excited to experience them, being so unsure of what my summer looked like...really freaked me out. What if the kids hated me? What if I was bored? How will I live all summer without any friends? 

Isn't it funny how much God can do when we think we know what He's going to do? 

He absolutely blew my expectations out of the water. I didn't have any, I was just ready to serve Him & yet He still taught me that I did have expectations. I really thought that I was going to count the cost this summer, that I was going to "rough it" for the gospel. I'll be honest with you guys, other than using a squatty potty every once in a while...my life has been the opposite of rough.

So while I'm reflecting on what God did - in - me this summer and how He changed my heart, I realized that I was missing out on one HUGE thing that God was trying to reveal to me.

I wasn't thinking about how God felt about the people that I was with all summer.

When I see street boys with holes in their shoes, sniffing glue bottles and I am heartbroken by poverty - I am feeling a little bit of how God feels about poverty. Do you know that God is even more brokenhearted about the 147 million orphans in the world than I am? When I had malaria & felt like I understood what those who had malaria had gone through - I am feeling the depth of God's sadness when people die from malaria everyday. While I eat everyday & pray for those that don't have - I am joining with God who is also completely broken about the 25,000 people that died from starvation...today.

I usually don't think about God's feelings about the world. It wasn't until I was completely overcome with sadness for some of the people that I have interacted with that I realized that God was sharing His sadness with me in these moments.  God hates the injustices in the world, just like we do.

Another side to this, is that the joy that I feel when I see my kids smiling is also the joy that God feels when He sees them. When I can't stop laughing at the games that we are playing, God is laughing too...giggling at the dance moves & silly songs.

I spent so much time thinking about myself that I forgot to consider the birds. I forgot to realize that God takes care of ravens (an ugly, gross, worthless bird - check out the previous verses) so OF COURSE, He will take care of me this summer. I spent so much time thinking about myself this summer that I forgot to think about God. Yes, I have grown and the Lord has challenged me but I think if I start seeing things the way that God sees them, I can learn so much more about His character. 

I realized that God is not just in the life saving malaria medicine or the food for the starving families but in the everyday moments. He is in the "me, teacher, I know the answer!" moments and the dance party with 3rd graders moments and He is in the moments when I am all alone (no matter what country I'm in).

Transparent.

Usually I try to make my posts pretty, this isn't that pretty, just honest. Bear with me. 

I wish I could freeze time. Freeze my thoughts. Freeze my views. Freeze my world. Fly back to America & when I come back to Kenya, not a day or even a moment has gone by. I want to believe that going back to America is what God has for me. I want to believe that God has more to accomplish in my life in America. I know that He does. I know He does because He's faithful. That doesn't make my heart hurt any less. But it's really hard for me believe that when God has made me love this place so much. I am so confused. 

I don't understand why I would fall in love so deeply with a place that I would have to leave. I love that God made the world so big and beautifully. I love that there are so many parts of it for us to explore. The hard part of it being so big is that it allows me to have best friends that will live 8,000 miles away from me. I'm not sure how to process this. I don't even know how to live like this. 

This wasn't just a 2 week mission trip. There aren't 5 kids names I'm going to remember. There is an orphanage of kids, an entire school of kids, a staff of teachers and a family that I know by name & very personally. Not to mention all of my best friends in Nairobi. How do I just move on with my life? What do I do about these people? 

My love language is time. Ask my friends. Ask my parents. I am so much happier when we've spent real time together. I show my love through time. I will make a date with you & keep it even if the rest of my day is filled to the brim with priorities. I absolutely love people. I love seeing people, I love hearing their stories and I love knowing them. My love language is spending time with the people in my life. So once again, how do I say goodbye to people that I love...that I won't spend time with for possibly a year? 

I don't even know how to answer that question properly. I have tears running down my cheeks just thinking about saying goodbye. Just thinking about how to find the words to say thank you for what they've given me this summer. Because I'll never be able to pay them back what I owe them. I could give them all the money in the world but I could never give them their time. They gave me cooking lessons. They gave me Swahili lessons. They danced with me. They sang with me. They shared their homes with me. They shared their classrooms with me. They shared their hearts with me. They loved me. Immediately. From the beginning & without question. Surely, this is what Jesus had in mind when He spoke of believers fellowshipping together. 

2 weeks is just enough time for a short term mission trip. That's what I decided was not enough so I came for 2 months this summer. But 2 weeks is all I have left. I don't even understand how God could possibly love me this much to know that this summer was exactly what I needed. 

I'm so thankful that I get to spend my whole life making Him famous. 

I know that I still have time left & I should cherish every moment with joy and happiness. Trust me when I say that I am doing exactly that but I just had to be transparent with you guys tonight. I need prayer. Prayer for direction. Prayer for trusting Jesus. And I need prayer for these next 13 days...that will undoubtedly be filled with so many goodbyes. 

I'm sad today, yes, but most of the time I am just thankful. Because I couldn't be sad if I hated this place, if I hadn't of had the best summer of my entire life, if I didn't love everything about this country (yes, even you ugali). I am so overwhelmingly, incredibly thankful. To my family, my friends, my supporters and my Jesus.

Joyful.

Capture Gratitude.

This summer has gone by swiftly and perfectly. While it has gone by way too quickly, I have experienced some of the best moments of my entire life. I took the following idea from a girl named Mandie Joy, read her story and understand why I'm so inspired by her. Anyways, the past couple weeks have been a blur - good things have happened, bad things have happened and God has been in the center of them all. I just wanted to spend a post celebrating his goodness in the little moments of my life...not just the "I held a monkey" moments. So here we go. My first ever capture gratitude.

Joyce's smile. It always makes me happy.

Kenyan skies.

Mombasa beach. Absolutely gorgeous.

Praying before every break. I love thanking God with these kids.

Elephants. I love elephants so much.

These amazing girls spoke so much truth into my life.

Reunions! I LOVE reunions. Especially with crazy teachers.

Kenyan Best Friends. Cannot explain how Christ-centered and beautiful this friendship is. Love you to the moon & back my Jaya Awinja :)

Feeding a baby buffalo. I can't explain how much I loved this moment.

Another of one of my ridiculously crazy Kenyan (okay..."American") best friends. I've never laughed more with one person in my entire life.

The first picture I ever took with my orphanage kids. I had no idea how much I would fall in love with each and every one of them. 

This is a small picture of my life this summer. I hope you remember to capture gratitude in the little moments of life because we can get caught up in ourselves so much that we sometimes worship creation versus worshiping the Creator.

Lastly, I am ridiculously thankful for malaria. Many of you knew what I walked through when I had it and many of you prayed fervently for me all week. I am so thankful to have overcome this disease but it really wasn't even as bad as it could have been. People all over the continent of Africa die everyday from malaria simply because of lack of funds or lack of knowledge about the disease. My medicine costs me 5 dollars. FIVE dollars. And people die from this disease...every. single. day. I am joyful to have had this disease because now I can relate with people who have it and don't have a warm bed, don't have a mom to take care of them and don't have money to provide for themselves. I had all of those things and I was still miserable. I can't imagine those who don't have those things. God absolutely healed me & your prayers made my life so much better but I am thankful that I wasn't healed immediately. I am so thankful to share in something with the people in Kenya. I love all parts of this country, the beautiful parts and the hard parts.

 God is in all of them.

The Simple Life.

It's pretty funny how much I think I need to live. I clearly missed the "do not store up treasures on earth" part of Jesus' message. I would say that I don't have treasures but when I clearly examine what I have, I would be lying.

I knew that God was really going to break me this summer and teach me things. I had no idea he would teach me about how I live in excess. After all, I'm spending my summer in Kenya! By myself! And a lot of people posted on Facebook about how great I was for being so sacrificial. 

But Jesus could care less about what people think of me. He doesn't just want my summer. He wants my life. I'm reading this fantastic book. "7" by Jen Hatmaker. It's about finding the places of excess in your life & giving them up. I encourage you to read it if you would like to be wrecked.

God had been chiseling away at the "excess" part of my life since January and I think it's starting to finally make a dent. I mean give me a break, the "American Dream" of "more, more, more" has been working on me for 22 years. It's gonna take some serious work to get rid of that mindset. Rome wasn't built in a day. And those ruins are still around.

That being said, after 7 months of thinking about how rich I am (and buying more)...I'm starting to realize that thinking isn't enough. I did have a slight moment where I graciously sponsored a needy Ugandan child. So let me toot my 25 dollar horn. Please look at my holiness. Gosh. I really thought I was doing something great. I mean I guess it was okay. Like filthy rags are okay.

God expects so much more of me. He was not telling us to "think" of our neighbors as ourselves or love our neighbors as ourselves on Christmas or Thanksgiving when donations programs have lots of commercials.

He also wasn't kidding when He said we can't serve two masters. Please tell me you don't serve money. How much were your shoes? How many swimsuits do you have? (girls?) How much was your lunch? This is not in any way to tell you of your sin. I'm talking to myself because so many times I said I didn't serve money. Then I looked down at my $30 shoes (please don't look at my other 20 pairs). Or in my swimsuit DRAWER, because I have so many. Because I can't be seen wearing the same swimsuit in pictures. My last lunch in America was $20. What a deal.

So here I am, in Kenya. A midst some of the greatest poverty in the world...truly broken for it. For the first time ever. Did I mention this is my 3rd time in Kenya? Guess I'm hard headed (understatement).

Did I also mention I came to Kenya with two suitcases full of clothes? Even in poverty, I chose to be blind and live in excess. I bet God was giggling when He saw me packing and said, "Oh how I will break you of these desires." Well. He did it. I'm broken. And it sucks. Because I like have sandals in every color for every occasion. And I like having more sundresses than some people have underwear (I wish I were kidding). And I really enjoy getting complimented on my cute outfits, I mean who doesn't? If I don't have a lot of stuff, who will think I'm cute? Once again, these are the thoughts that penetrate my mind. I'm so embarrassed.

Part of me is excited to return to America and part of me is incredibly scared. What will people think of me if I don't go shopping with them? Or if all my clothes are old? I guess I can untag pictures of myself on Facebook (gotta love idols of approval). Or probably the biggest fear of all, if I give all my money away...what will I have? As if God doesn't own the cattle on a thousand hills. But above all else I am more scared of living outside of God's will than I am of anything that earth can do to me. Above all else I would rather be homeless with no teeth & completely in God's will than comfortable, clean and with new clothes and being outside of God's will. I'm excited to start this journey of truly living out the Gospel.
I've been studying scripture for so long that I forgot to actually DO scripture.

And I'm almost positive that doing life with Jesus will be so
much more fun than just reading about Him.

I've been without a lot of things this summer. Most of them that I thought I "needed" to live. You know what I realized most? I just need Jesus. Period. Please share with me in some of the things He has blessed me with this summer.

Sweet moments with my first graders.

Experiencing Joyce eating her first oreo over! She loved it.

Remembering that having a new puppy around is always fun.

Walking home from church with my kids. One of my favorite parts of every week.

Being with Elizabeth as she rode in a boat for the first time!

My life is incredibly simple. I know what everyday will look like and that's completely okay with me. I'm just doing life with these people. I'm not solving world hunger or ending poverty and that's okay because no one person could do those things. I'm spending time with these kids & teachers and learning about them and we love each other and it's great.

 The simple life, I've come to learn, is the best life. 

Lillian.

Everyday I talk to Lillian, she smiles and puts her hands over her mouth because she still finds me, the white auntie, funny. Even if I look at Lillian, she giggles uncontrollably. I love her so good.

I love Lillian's hugs. I love Lillian's questions. I love Lillian's beautiful chocolate eyes. Lillian also loves me. We talk and laugh and play until our bellies hurt from laughing so hard. 

Lillian speaks English probably the best out of all the kids and she is no where near the oldest. If you look at Lillian's school uniform you will see 4 badges. Getting a badge at school means that you scored the highest out of everyone in your class on your exam, this means that out of the 8 subjects and 30 students in her class, Lillian got the highest grade on 4 of those exams. She is so smart and it's so cool to watch her learn.

The craziest part of Lillian's story? Lillian came from an extremely destitute situation. The people who run this orphanage only took in the most needy children they could find. Lillian was one of those children. She had one HIV positive mother to take care of her and a grandma who tried dearly but couldn't provide for sweet Lillian. Had someone not intervened, Lillian probably wouldn't even be in school today, much less making the highest grades out of anyone in her class.

I can't help but think...what if Lillian had never been rescued? How many Einsteins are hiding in poverty, just waiting for someone to send them to school? 

This reminds so much of what the Father wants to do for us. So many times we are stuck in spiritual poverty because we truly cannot provide for ourselves. We NEED Jesus to rescue us to help us succeed in what He has for us. But what if Lillian's grandma and very sick mother had said no to help? What if they thought that they could do the best for her? Would Lillian be succeeding today? Maybe...but probably not. Our Savior came to rescue us, bind up the brokenhearted and proclaim freedom for the captives. Guys, we are the captives. We keep ourselves captive SO many times simply because we think that where we are is the best we can be. What a lie from the enemy. 

Lillian inspires me. She knows where she came from and it doesn't hinder her. 

I can't let my past hinder me anymore. 

Jesus wants to use my story and your story and Lillian's story,
he rescued all of us and he has redeemed all of us to do His will. 

I adore this little lady. So much.