Capture Gratitude.

This summer has gone by swiftly and perfectly. While it has gone by way too quickly, I have experienced some of the best moments of my entire life. I took the following idea from a girl named Mandie Joy, read her story and understand why I'm so inspired by her. Anyways, the past couple weeks have been a blur - good things have happened, bad things have happened and God has been in the center of them all. I just wanted to spend a post celebrating his goodness in the little moments of my life...not just the "I held a monkey" moments. So here we go. My first ever capture gratitude.

Joyce's smile. It always makes me happy.

Kenyan skies.

Mombasa beach. Absolutely gorgeous.

Praying before every break. I love thanking God with these kids.

Elephants. I love elephants so much.

These amazing girls spoke so much truth into my life.

Reunions! I LOVE reunions. Especially with crazy teachers.

Kenyan Best Friends. Cannot explain how Christ-centered and beautiful this friendship is. Love you to the moon & back my Jaya Awinja :)

Feeding a baby buffalo. I can't explain how much I loved this moment.

Another of one of my ridiculously crazy Kenyan (okay..."American") best friends. I've never laughed more with one person in my entire life.

The first picture I ever took with my orphanage kids. I had no idea how much I would fall in love with each and every one of them. 

This is a small picture of my life this summer. I hope you remember to capture gratitude in the little moments of life because we can get caught up in ourselves so much that we sometimes worship creation versus worshiping the Creator.

Lastly, I am ridiculously thankful for malaria. Many of you knew what I walked through when I had it and many of you prayed fervently for me all week. I am so thankful to have overcome this disease but it really wasn't even as bad as it could have been. People all over the continent of Africa die everyday from malaria simply because of lack of funds or lack of knowledge about the disease. My medicine costs me 5 dollars. FIVE dollars. And people die from this disease...every. single. day. I am joyful to have had this disease because now I can relate with people who have it and don't have a warm bed, don't have a mom to take care of them and don't have money to provide for themselves. I had all of those things and I was still miserable. I can't imagine those who don't have those things. God absolutely healed me & your prayers made my life so much better but I am thankful that I wasn't healed immediately. I am so thankful to share in something with the people in Kenya. I love all parts of this country, the beautiful parts and the hard parts.

 God is in all of them.

The Simple Life.

It's pretty funny how much I think I need to live. I clearly missed the "do not store up treasures on earth" part of Jesus' message. I would say that I don't have treasures but when I clearly examine what I have, I would be lying.

I knew that God was really going to break me this summer and teach me things. I had no idea he would teach me about how I live in excess. After all, I'm spending my summer in Kenya! By myself! And a lot of people posted on Facebook about how great I was for being so sacrificial. 

But Jesus could care less about what people think of me. He doesn't just want my summer. He wants my life. I'm reading this fantastic book. "7" by Jen Hatmaker. It's about finding the places of excess in your life & giving them up. I encourage you to read it if you would like to be wrecked.

God had been chiseling away at the "excess" part of my life since January and I think it's starting to finally make a dent. I mean give me a break, the "American Dream" of "more, more, more" has been working on me for 22 years. It's gonna take some serious work to get rid of that mindset. Rome wasn't built in a day. And those ruins are still around.

That being said, after 7 months of thinking about how rich I am (and buying more)...I'm starting to realize that thinking isn't enough. I did have a slight moment where I graciously sponsored a needy Ugandan child. So let me toot my 25 dollar horn. Please look at my holiness. Gosh. I really thought I was doing something great. I mean I guess it was okay. Like filthy rags are okay.

God expects so much more of me. He was not telling us to "think" of our neighbors as ourselves or love our neighbors as ourselves on Christmas or Thanksgiving when donations programs have lots of commercials.

He also wasn't kidding when He said we can't serve two masters. Please tell me you don't serve money. How much were your shoes? How many swimsuits do you have? (girls?) How much was your lunch? This is not in any way to tell you of your sin. I'm talking to myself because so many times I said I didn't serve money. Then I looked down at my $30 shoes (please don't look at my other 20 pairs). Or in my swimsuit DRAWER, because I have so many. Because I can't be seen wearing the same swimsuit in pictures. My last lunch in America was $20. What a deal.

So here I am, in Kenya. A midst some of the greatest poverty in the world...truly broken for it. For the first time ever. Did I mention this is my 3rd time in Kenya? Guess I'm hard headed (understatement).

Did I also mention I came to Kenya with two suitcases full of clothes? Even in poverty, I chose to be blind and live in excess. I bet God was giggling when He saw me packing and said, "Oh how I will break you of these desires." Well. He did it. I'm broken. And it sucks. Because I like have sandals in every color for every occasion. And I like having more sundresses than some people have underwear (I wish I were kidding). And I really enjoy getting complimented on my cute outfits, I mean who doesn't? If I don't have a lot of stuff, who will think I'm cute? Once again, these are the thoughts that penetrate my mind. I'm so embarrassed.

Part of me is excited to return to America and part of me is incredibly scared. What will people think of me if I don't go shopping with them? Or if all my clothes are old? I guess I can untag pictures of myself on Facebook (gotta love idols of approval). Or probably the biggest fear of all, if I give all my money away...what will I have? As if God doesn't own the cattle on a thousand hills. But above all else I am more scared of living outside of God's will than I am of anything that earth can do to me. Above all else I would rather be homeless with no teeth & completely in God's will than comfortable, clean and with new clothes and being outside of God's will. I'm excited to start this journey of truly living out the Gospel.
I've been studying scripture for so long that I forgot to actually DO scripture.

And I'm almost positive that doing life with Jesus will be so
much more fun than just reading about Him.

I've been without a lot of things this summer. Most of them that I thought I "needed" to live. You know what I realized most? I just need Jesus. Period. Please share with me in some of the things He has blessed me with this summer.

Sweet moments with my first graders.

Experiencing Joyce eating her first oreo over! She loved it.

Remembering that having a new puppy around is always fun.

Walking home from church with my kids. One of my favorite parts of every week.

Being with Elizabeth as she rode in a boat for the first time!

My life is incredibly simple. I know what everyday will look like and that's completely okay with me. I'm just doing life with these people. I'm not solving world hunger or ending poverty and that's okay because no one person could do those things. I'm spending time with these kids & teachers and learning about them and we love each other and it's great.

 The simple life, I've come to learn, is the best life. 

Lillian.

Everyday I talk to Lillian, she smiles and puts her hands over her mouth because she still finds me, the white auntie, funny. Even if I look at Lillian, she giggles uncontrollably. I love her so good.

I love Lillian's hugs. I love Lillian's questions. I love Lillian's beautiful chocolate eyes. Lillian also loves me. We talk and laugh and play until our bellies hurt from laughing so hard. 

Lillian speaks English probably the best out of all the kids and she is no where near the oldest. If you look at Lillian's school uniform you will see 4 badges. Getting a badge at school means that you scored the highest out of everyone in your class on your exam, this means that out of the 8 subjects and 30 students in her class, Lillian got the highest grade on 4 of those exams. She is so smart and it's so cool to watch her learn.

The craziest part of Lillian's story? Lillian came from an extremely destitute situation. The people who run this orphanage only took in the most needy children they could find. Lillian was one of those children. She had one HIV positive mother to take care of her and a grandma who tried dearly but couldn't provide for sweet Lillian. Had someone not intervened, Lillian probably wouldn't even be in school today, much less making the highest grades out of anyone in her class.

I can't help but think...what if Lillian had never been rescued? How many Einsteins are hiding in poverty, just waiting for someone to send them to school? 

This reminds so much of what the Father wants to do for us. So many times we are stuck in spiritual poverty because we truly cannot provide for ourselves. We NEED Jesus to rescue us to help us succeed in what He has for us. But what if Lillian's grandma and very sick mother had said no to help? What if they thought that they could do the best for her? Would Lillian be succeeding today? Maybe...but probably not. Our Savior came to rescue us, bind up the brokenhearted and proclaim freedom for the captives. Guys, we are the captives. We keep ourselves captive SO many times simply because we think that where we are is the best we can be. What a lie from the enemy. 

Lillian inspires me. She knows where she came from and it doesn't hinder her. 

I can't let my past hinder me anymore. 

Jesus wants to use my story and your story and Lillian's story,
he rescued all of us and he has redeemed all of us to do His will. 

I adore this little lady. So much. 

How Great Thou Art

Do you remember being a little kid around Christmastime? When you would hope and pray and wish for that one gift that would make your 8 year old life? The end all be all of gifts. And then finally Christmas morning comes and you open your favorite, most anticipated present. At this moment your heart is so filled with joy & excitement that you literally don’t know what to do. Do you say thank you to your parents for giving you EXACTLY what you always wanted or do you immediately start playing with the toy and never do anything else? Usually you’re running around with it for awhile before you remember to say thank you, but it comes. And it will come for months after when you are still playing with your most prized possession, and then many years later you will remember that Christmas morning.

My favorite Christmas morning was when I received a Barbie dream house. Complete with a garage and in house elevator. It was so awesome. I’ve never screamed so loudly in my life, my parent’s poor eardrums. I will never forget the joy I felt that morning. My parents made my dreams come true right before my eyes. I’m also pretty sure I played with that Barbie dream house long after girls should be playing with Barbie things but whatever; it was a Barbie DREAM HOUSE. You don’t just toss those babies.

To not downsize what God has done in any way this summer, Kenya is my Barbie dream house (metaphorically). The question “what will I be when I grow up?” has finally been answered. I thought I knew how much I loved Kenya. I thought I knew how much God loved me. I thought I knew what this summer would be like.

I was so wrong. And I am so glad about that.

I've been in Kenya for exactly one month. My life is incredible. I have been truly blessed to not only do ministry through opportunities the Lord has given but I’ve also been able to explore the amazing things Kenya itself has to offer. For example, the second tallest building in Kenya overlooking all of Nairobi, amazing.

For the first 2 weeks of my summer, I worked in an orphanage and a school where God made me fall in love with kids and teachers that I had never met before. He humbled me in such a way that not only will I ever be the same; I simply cannot be who I used to be after doing life with these people.

For the last 2 weeks I’ve served all over Kenya with a ton of different people and organizations. I had been praying about where God had me once I moved here after graduation. Through RIDICULOUS divine appointment, God has given me some amazing opportunities to pray about and work towards.

I never thought I’d make “best friends” in Kenya. I was wrong. I never thought I’d had a lot of friends in Kenya. Once again, wrong. The Lord is intricately weaving relationships and contacts here in Kenya so there is almost no way I could ever feel lonely or out of place.

I can’t believe it’s been a month.
I can’t believe how much this place has truly captured my heart.
I love everything about Kenya.
I absolutely adore my life here.

I have been praying my whole entire life to be where God has me and to know what that will look like. I regularly find myself thinking how great Thou art? How great that God made me to love Kenya so intimately that I actually know I am in His will when I am here? How great that God is using all my passions to glorify Him? How great that God loves me so deeply that I’m never alone even when I’m 8,000 miles away from my earthly family. How great Thou art. I am so incredibly blessed to know that Kenya is not just a Christmas present that I will outgrow. It is something I have been waiting my whole life for and I can’t wait to fall in love over and over and over again with this country.

I am so thankful.

I am so content.

I am so joyful.

I am home.

Healing through Hip Hop

So let me just explain something to you. God absolutely and without a doubt knows your heart better than you do. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will stop fighting His will for your life.

That being said, this weekend was awesome. So, so, SO awesome. There is group called K-Krew in Kenya. Let me tell you about them. 10 years ago, the founders Moz & Njugush realized that there was no gospel music in Kenya so they decided to do something about it. They joined together rappers, djs, dancers, singers...anything and everything musical and started K-Krew. And the rest is history. Today they have a tv show with over 30 million viewers and in the past year, 24,000 people have come to Christ.

How do they get such astounding numbers? They go on what they call "missions" and spread the gospel. A typical mission runs like this, a warm up of dancing for everyone in the room (missions are usually in high schools but can really be anywhere) and then a message from maybe Njugush or Moz or whoever, this then leads to a prayer of salvation. Afterwards they feature upcoming artists around Kenya & East Africa to sing, rap and spread their music to more people. All of their music is Christ driven by the way, representing Jesus in every single lyric. So simple and so effective, why? Because they're not trying to make the gospel glamorous, they're trying to make the gospel known.

We got to participate in 6 of their missions this weekend. Let me rephrase. I got to dance on stage and worship Jesus through hip hop with K-Krew and hundreds of teenage kids. If you know me, you know that this is what Heaven feels like to me. If you know me, you know that I couldn't have been happier to be with these people.

And to top it off, I became basically BFFs (haha) with all of them. I told Moz&Njugush that I would be happy joining K-Krew and being the only white person. They pretended to think I was funny.

God has made me (and you) so intricately. Sometimes I wonder if every desire and passion I have can really be used to glorify God. After this weekend, I will never question that again.

I love Kenya. I love hip hop. And I love dancing. All of those passions can glorify God at the same time and that is so incredibly cool.

What do you love? Just DO that for Jesus. Stop waiting to have the right answer or the right timing, God's waiting for you to remember how perfectly He made you. He really wants you to know that He knows your heart better than you do and He can give you the most amazing life you could ever ask for.

In Him,
Crissy

Joyce.

I stare at Joyce, on of our orphanage girls who is 7 & in 1st grade. She works so diligently on her paper and concentrates on all she is doing. I can only imagine what must be going through her mind as she takes her English exam. Because Joyce doesn't speak english. When I talk to her she just laughs and wants to play with my camera. How in the world is she supposed to take an exam written in English?

I have no idea but girl is trying.

I love Joyce for so many reasons. The main one is that out of my week and 4 days of being with her, I've seen her not smile maybe once. That means she's been smiling 99.9% of the time I've seen her. That is one joyful girl. She reminds me of the joy the Father has for me when He sees me. She is also a beautiful picture of the children Jesus talked about. You know the ones that would enter the Kingdom of Heaven and sit at his right hand? Yeah, Joyce will totally be there.

In case you would like to fall in love with Joyce too -

So who knows where Joyce will go or what she will grow up to be but I know that she has 31 brothers and sisters and a LOT of mom's & dads & aunties (me!!) who will make sure she is successful! We are all cheering Joyce on and everyone chips in to help her with her english. By the way, Joyce took an English reading exam the next day with me by her side to mark her paper. I marked her with 44 out of 50 words correct with reading. She may be quiet but she has the loudest heart I've ever seen. Joyce inspires me and the most conversation we've ev er had was - "How are you, Joyce? - "Fine." Good thing smiles are universal. [sorry that was kind of cheesy, I'm fine with that because it's true].

Reunited and it feels so good.

Jambo! Let me tell you how good it feels to be back in Kenya. Your mind is a funny thing you know. It remembers so much more than just what your eyes see. It remembers sounds, smells and sensations of touch. I've been in Kenya since Wednesday evening and staying with a family that is a friend of mine. They are Joy & Rich Lee, easily the most accommodating & loving family that I've ever met. I've been so blessed to get to share my time in Nairobi with them and their two beautiful daughters, Abigail (5) & Kasi (3). Tomorrow I leave for Naivasha to go to a children's home, which is where I will be spending the majority of my summer. I spoke with the pastor on the phone this evening and he said that everyone was very excited to meet me. I don't think they realize how excited I am to meet them :) While I'm there I will be teaching English, leading devotionals, helping with chores and of course...DANCING! There are many girls & boys in this children's home and my goal is that through this blog I can introduce some of them to you! Usually my blogs will be longer and more in depth but my time here so far has been adjusting to jet lag and catching up with my old friends and making new ones. I have really been blessed with a community of friends in Kenya that take care of me and make sure I'm alright. That is a blessing that I never could have imagined. Other than daily events, God has really been teaching me to let Him speak and stop trying to talk all the time. I really like to plan my life and God is reminding me that when He made the world, He was thinking of me -- so maybe I should stop trying to do his job. In Him, Crissy