Looking back at 2012 and getting freaking PUMPED in 2013.

Can I say freaking in a christian blog post? Well now that I've said it twice, I guess it's okay.

 

2012 was an incredible year. I mean, I loved the HECK out of 2012. I'm not sure if it was because I go to a university that glorifies that number 12 more than any other number or because God truly changed my life.

 

I'm gonna say it was a pretty close (not close at all) call but God changing my life is for the win.

 

What I love about Jesus is that He never changes. His faithfulness doesn't change in the midst of my failure, His love doesn't change in the course of my anger, and His plans for me doesn't change in the existence of my disobedience. He truly loves me. He doesn't keep record of the things I do wrong (or right), in fact His love for me has nothing to do with ANYTHING that I do. Can I get a hallelujah for that? I remembered why I fell in love with Jesus in the first place in 2012. I remembered why His name brings a smile to my face in 2012.

 

I left behind some amazing things in 2012. 2012 was definitely a year of sad endings but beautiful beginnings. I left the wonderful dance team that I called family over the past 3 years, I quit jobs, and I said goodbye to Kenya even though my heart insisted on staying there.

 

New doors opened in my life in a way that I had never seen before. After saying goodbye to Kenya, I realized that goodbye truly meant "see you later." Through God's infinite wisdom, I have been given the opportunity (along with my amazing partner in crime, Shalee) to start a drug & alcohol rehabilitation center where I lived this summer in Naivasha, Kenya.

 

It's not a surprise that I don't love school. It's just not where my heart is. Studying? Not fun. Going to class? Boring. But, honoring your parents is a commandment so I did it. In May I will graduate from the greatest univeristy on the planet with a degree in psychology. I love psychology. I love people. I love learning about why people do what they do. I'm thankful for an education that will help me help others all over the world.

 

I truly have no idea what 2013 holds for my life (or yours) but I know that if 2012 was a picture of what God is going to do and continue to do, then 2013 will be out of control.

 

If 2012 was a crappy year for you then look at 2013 with hope. Look at 2013 with expectation, anticipation, and motivation. Don't just expect God to show up, chase after Him with your passion and run with Him to your dreams. Remember that our dreams don't work unless we do. God wants to rock your world and make your dreams come true but if we sit on our couch and watch One Tree Hill on netflix for 10 hours (clearly I have no experience with this) that makes dreamworking a little difficult. If you want to lose 30 pounds, go to the gym...if you want to read more books, visit barnes & noble...if you want to know more about Jesus, study His word and study with people who love Him. Don't let 2013 pass you by but also don't let life pass you by.

 

Whatever our Lord has for your life is HUGE and amazing and wonderful. Please don't let huge be limited by this world's standards. Huge for me is doing life with the people of Kenya and substance abuse users in America & Kenya. Huge for you could be speaking to highschoolers or doing probono work for those who can't afford or maybe huge for you could be preaching to those on some remote island in the middle of nowhere. Huge does not mean millions of people knowing your name or you solving world hunger. While it could be one of those things, that is not what I mean.

 

Just be passionate about something, ANYTHING and do it with great love and do it with Jesus. Wake up everyday with passion. Wake up everyday with Jesus. Wake up everyday knowing that you have one life and you get to do whatever you want with it.

 

I'll leave this blog post & beging 2013 with this quote from the late Steve Jobs,
"Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."

 

Peace out,

Crissy

20 signs that you should go to Kenya (with me)

1) your heart melted at this picture and you wanted to love/know/hug these kids immediately 

2) you love to serve 

3) you feel called to missions but haven't had a chance to go yet 

4) you are a doctor/dentist/nurse/something medical and or medical related student/person and want to give free medical care to people who would really love it

5) you are a teacher and would love to get some out of country experience 

6) you love people 

7) you like eating good food 

8) you love 18 hour plane rides 

9) you've seen lion king and therefore know 6 Swahili words: Asante sana = thank you , rafiki = friend, hakuna matata = I think you guys know and Simba = lion 

10) you like to meet new people 

11) you like having dusty and dirt covered feet 

12) you love asking people for money 

13) you like to dance (Kenyans love to dance...and that's an understatement) 

14) you love being the center of attention. When everyone else is black, white skin "kind of" stands out 15) you enjoy telling other people how much Jesus loves them 

16) you enjoy being challenged and pushed out of your comfort zone 

17) you hate cell service and wouldn't mind losing it for two weeks 

18) you've never eaten goat. Because I guarantee I'll make you try it at least once. I'm sweet like that.

19) you like chai tea

20) you think I'm great and you would just love to spend 16 days with me

Redemption.

Well.......hello friends! 

I can't believe I haven't blogged since I got back from Kenya. Reading my blogs from this summer makes me miss that place so much and I am already planning my trip back in June. But until then...I have some very exciting news!

But here's a little history first (it's not long..okay it kinda is...just bear with me).

So my major is Psychology. I chose Psychology because it's easy (sorry, psyc majors) and I don't really like school that much. Basically, I didn't put a lot of thought into my major. My parents said I had to have a degree so this is what I chose & I honestly didn't think I would do anything with it. Freshman year my relationship with God struggled a lot when I turned to partying for my satisfaction instead of Him. Even though I had a lot of friends, I felt alone in my struggle with alcohol and I didn't think anyone cared about me. 

Now, rewind to this summer, my last week in Kenya. I'm sitting with my Kenyan dad at dinner and we are talking about dreams he has for his life. Starting a high school, maybe a technical school and finally he says "I have an idea you might like." He then begins to tell me about this idea he has for a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. There are of course centers like this in Nairobi but Nairobi is an hour and a half away from Naivasha, where I lived this summer. It is in a place called the "Great Rift Valley", this area is full of people, most of which don't have the means to make it to Nairobi. This center would be the only one of it's kind in this area, people would literally come from hundreds of miles away to this place and they would be able to find help! We also already have the land so hey God, thanks for being awesome and providing...you rock.

And it all comes together...these people will need serious counseling and help as they begin a new chapter of their lives. Hello, psychology degree with lots of psychology friends who love Jesus and will help (slash I will make them). People who have struggled with something feel better confiding in someone that has also struggled with that...hello, I used to struggle with alcohol. Where will we put this big center? Oh, my Kenyan family already has a lot of property available and ready to go? That works out well.

Guys, Jesus is more faithful and big and awesome than you could ever dream/think/imagine/hope. Only HE could have worked ALL of these things out. 

My heart is to serve. My heart is for Kenya. My heart is for Jesus. All of these things come together with this project and I. AM. PUMPED. I hope you're getting excited too because this is so freaking exciting (can I say freaking?)!!!

Here's where you come into play. If you had any sort of response to this (even if you hated it), I'm going to ask you to do one of the following things...

1) PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. and then PRAY AGAIN! This will not happen without prayer, not even one single bit of it!

2) Support us financially! The first part of this project will be putting up the main wall, which will cost about $8,000. Woo! Big number, but I figure that God owns the cattle on a thousand hills...so I think $8,000 is in His budget.

-Send all checks/cash to: 

Crissy Cano

5545 Cranberry Drive

Fort Worth, Tx 76137

3) COME WITH US! There is no better way to see what is happening somewhere other than to SEE IT HAPPEN! We will have a team going in the beginning of June...but I will be there all month. If you want to come, please don't let anything stop you. Kenya rocks. You'll love it. Pinky swear.

4) PRAY! again. And follow our story as we journey through this exciting time with Jesus! Please leave your e-mail as a comment on this blog OR email me with the title "Redeemed Project 2013" and I will add you to the email list!

5) TELL YOUR CHURCH ABOUT IT! The only way that we can get projects like this going is by telling people about it cause the church is big and it's so fun when we all get together and party. If you want me to come speak at your church or you just want info so your church can partner with us, also leave your email in a comment and let me know. I love traveling so any excuse to leave College Station and I'M THERE!

So like I said, we have $8,000 to raise, people! We serve a BIG God and I am ready to watch Him provide for this project in a FLASH! It's fun to have faith in God and let him blow your mind. I just love that. 

The country of Kenya is like family to me. I love it, I know it and I care deeply for it. This project is so important to me because Kenya has done so much for me...I can't help but serve Jesus here too. Okay and I'll be honest...I JUST LOVE KENYA. I love Kenyans. I love Swahili. I love brown eyes. I love Kenyan food. I love Kenyan music. I love Kenyan school uniforms. I love Kenyan countryside. I love roasted corn that you get on the side of the road. I think you guys get it. I love that place and everything it's got to offer.

Lastly, the dirty details of this project will get more tedious as we go but what we know so far is that we will of course need a main building but we will also need dormitories for the patients,  employee housing and a kitchen. These are just the beginning of needs for this place - we will also need help training counselors and setting up this place. I will tell you guys more as soon as I know more. But just keep these needs in mind if you want to come over and help out :)

Okay and actually last, BUT DEFINITELY NOT LEAST! I have left out one of the BIGGEST parts of this project. My American partner in crime for this thing! Her name is Shalee Thomas and she freaking rocks, people. It took me coming to Kenya 3 times to give God all of my heart and say that I would move there & spend my life there...Shalee? She spent two weeks in Kenya and was ready to go forever. Jealous of her faith? Yeah, get in line. Anyways, we met during her time in Kenya this year and instantly became friends. We had some incredible God spurred conversations that lead to more God spurred conversations once I got back in America and now we've decided to partner up. So basically she's awesome and faithful and has the best country accent in the world. So find her on facebook, stalk her, love her, call her if you want...whatever, she'll love it. I just had to brag on her a bit because I wouldn't be doing this without her.

Thank you for reading this blog that is entirely too long because I am just ENTIRELY TOO EXCITED about this stinking project! Remember, leave your email so I can spam your inbox with exciting updates (just kidding, I hate spam, it tastes gross...so I won't do that). And please be praying with us as we start this BIG journey! 

"I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,

    your sins like the morning mist.

Return to me,

    for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22

This verse will serve as the prayer for this project. Jesus loves redemption and this will be all about redemption. So thankful He redeemed us, ya know?

In his JOYOUS name,

Crissy

P.S. I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not English major, so...sorry about how many grammatical errors are in this blog.

[22] things I learned in Kenya.

1) People aren’t joking when they say you can get malaria, so you should probably not laugh when they call somewhere a “malaria prone area.”

2) Kenyan schoolchildren will never ever get sick of having their picture taken. Even if you do it every single day for 2 months.

3) When you say “hello” to most people in Kenya, they will usually answer “I’m fine” and the sooner you understand that, the better.

4) Kenyans are the best dancers in the world. Ever. Period.

5) Loving Jesus has nothing to do with where you are in the world, as long as you are in His will. He doesn’t love me any more than He loves you because I served Him in Kenya this summer.

6) Elementary school children will try to rub your skin and see if it will turn their skin white…everyday.

7) “Cold” and “Hot” have completely different definitions in Kenya than they do in America.

8) Just because someone calls you “my sister” does not mean they like you…it means they want you to buy all of the stuff from their store & charge you way more than it’s worth.

9) Regardless of what my 5 year old brain thinks, all animals do not love me & in fact most of them will run away and/or bite me when I try to go near them. (Insert the moments when I tried to pet cows, goats, sheep, donkeys, chickens, zebras [not a typo] and a really mean dog).

10) Most places that say they have “wifi” are liars and I will forgive them eventually for deceiving my stupid, needy, internet needing, American heart.

11) Living with a Kenyan family is the best thing you could do for your weight. Not only have I lost 10 pounds but I have eaten more vegetables & fruit this summer than I have in my whole entire life.

12) Seeing the kids that you know personally succeed in their classes is one of the best feelings in the whole wide world (dear parents & teachers, I know you already understand this…and you must know that you have the best jobs in the world!).

13) Mosquito nets hate me. I know this is true because every time I try to drape my net over my bed, we get in a serious fight that usually ends with a net lying on my face while I try to sleep.

14) My nails grow a lot faster than I can keep up with. And are apparently too strong for normal nails clippers. I’m currently typing with my nails instead of my fingertips.

15) Seeing the smile on my orphanage girl’s faces every time we are reunited after school will never, ever get old. 

16) Learning Swahili is a lot harder than people will tell you it is…do not believe them when they tell you it is easy.

17) Kenyans pronounce about 90% of the English language in a different way than Americans, when you decide to be a teacher for the summer…remember this. (Insert pronunciations here…for example, girl = gall, mechanic = meck-a-neck, flirt = flat, anything with an “a” like potatoes or tomatoes is pronounced with a soft a….instead of po-TAY-toe, it is  po-tah-toe.)

18) Kenyan flies are much more adventurous than American flies. They also don’t care how many times you swat them…they will keep coming back. Rude flies.

19) Being white in Kenya can either be a really great thing or a really bad thing. Examples – when buying things, it’s horrible; you will be charged at least 4 times the actual price. But when going places, people will be extremely nice to you simply because you’re white.

20) Kenyan tea kicks American tea’s butt.

21) God knows your heart better than you do. (Okay so maybe I knew this before Kenya but my Savior proved this fact over & over & OVER again this summer).

22) I am surrounded by the most encouraging & incredible people in the entire world. Not just in America but also in Kenya. The Lord has perfectly crafted my friends & family to love me and encourage me in every single part of my life. I am so thankful to have these relationships all over the world.

I have learned so much more than just these 22 things but I think that this summed up my time here pretty well. I cannot believe that tomorrow evening (afternoon for you all in America) I will be leaving the place where I fell in love with Jesus in a whole new way. I remember thinking that two months was a long time...how incredibly wrong I have been. While I am so sad to leave, I am so thankful for my time here and it just shows how much God loves me...which is so much. My time here has been fruitful, CRAZY, adventurous, hilarious, humbling, silly, fun, loving, amazing and perfect. 

Consider the birds.

"Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!"

Luke 12:24

I'll be honest. I was scared about this summer. I was scared about being by myself. I was scared that I would miss my friends and my family. I was scared of the food I was going to eat. I was scared about all the things that I would miss out in America. Basically my flesh was SCREAMING for me to do what I wanted to do and by the grace & strength of God, my Spirit won that battle. 

Even in my heart of hearts, I knew that God was going to do great things in my heart this summer and while I was SO excited to experience them, being so unsure of what my summer looked like...really freaked me out. What if the kids hated me? What if I was bored? How will I live all summer without any friends? 

Isn't it funny how much God can do when we think we know what He's going to do? 

He absolutely blew my expectations out of the water. I didn't have any, I was just ready to serve Him & yet He still taught me that I did have expectations. I really thought that I was going to count the cost this summer, that I was going to "rough it" for the gospel. I'll be honest with you guys, other than using a squatty potty every once in a while...my life has been the opposite of rough.

So while I'm reflecting on what God did - in - me this summer and how He changed my heart, I realized that I was missing out on one HUGE thing that God was trying to reveal to me.

I wasn't thinking about how God felt about the people that I was with all summer.

When I see street boys with holes in their shoes, sniffing glue bottles and I am heartbroken by poverty - I am feeling a little bit of how God feels about poverty. Do you know that God is even more brokenhearted about the 147 million orphans in the world than I am? When I had malaria & felt like I understood what those who had malaria had gone through - I am feeling the depth of God's sadness when people die from malaria everyday. While I eat everyday & pray for those that don't have - I am joining with God who is also completely broken about the 25,000 people that died from starvation...today.

I usually don't think about God's feelings about the world. It wasn't until I was completely overcome with sadness for some of the people that I have interacted with that I realized that God was sharing His sadness with me in these moments.  God hates the injustices in the world, just like we do.

Another side to this, is that the joy that I feel when I see my kids smiling is also the joy that God feels when He sees them. When I can't stop laughing at the games that we are playing, God is laughing too...giggling at the dance moves & silly songs.

I spent so much time thinking about myself that I forgot to consider the birds. I forgot to realize that God takes care of ravens (an ugly, gross, worthless bird - check out the previous verses) so OF COURSE, He will take care of me this summer. I spent so much time thinking about myself this summer that I forgot to think about God. Yes, I have grown and the Lord has challenged me but I think if I start seeing things the way that God sees them, I can learn so much more about His character. 

I realized that God is not just in the life saving malaria medicine or the food for the starving families but in the everyday moments. He is in the "me, teacher, I know the answer!" moments and the dance party with 3rd graders moments and He is in the moments when I am all alone (no matter what country I'm in).

Transparent.

Usually I try to make my posts pretty, this isn't that pretty, just honest. Bear with me. 

I wish I could freeze time. Freeze my thoughts. Freeze my views. Freeze my world. Fly back to America & when I come back to Kenya, not a day or even a moment has gone by. I want to believe that going back to America is what God has for me. I want to believe that God has more to accomplish in my life in America. I know that He does. I know He does because He's faithful. That doesn't make my heart hurt any less. But it's really hard for me believe that when God has made me love this place so much. I am so confused. 

I don't understand why I would fall in love so deeply with a place that I would have to leave. I love that God made the world so big and beautifully. I love that there are so many parts of it for us to explore. The hard part of it being so big is that it allows me to have best friends that will live 8,000 miles away from me. I'm not sure how to process this. I don't even know how to live like this. 

This wasn't just a 2 week mission trip. There aren't 5 kids names I'm going to remember. There is an orphanage of kids, an entire school of kids, a staff of teachers and a family that I know by name & very personally. Not to mention all of my best friends in Nairobi. How do I just move on with my life? What do I do about these people? 

My love language is time. Ask my friends. Ask my parents. I am so much happier when we've spent real time together. I show my love through time. I will make a date with you & keep it even if the rest of my day is filled to the brim with priorities. I absolutely love people. I love seeing people, I love hearing their stories and I love knowing them. My love language is spending time with the people in my life. So once again, how do I say goodbye to people that I love...that I won't spend time with for possibly a year? 

I don't even know how to answer that question properly. I have tears running down my cheeks just thinking about saying goodbye. Just thinking about how to find the words to say thank you for what they've given me this summer. Because I'll never be able to pay them back what I owe them. I could give them all the money in the world but I could never give them their time. They gave me cooking lessons. They gave me Swahili lessons. They danced with me. They sang with me. They shared their homes with me. They shared their classrooms with me. They shared their hearts with me. They loved me. Immediately. From the beginning & without question. Surely, this is what Jesus had in mind when He spoke of believers fellowshipping together. 

2 weeks is just enough time for a short term mission trip. That's what I decided was not enough so I came for 2 months this summer. But 2 weeks is all I have left. I don't even understand how God could possibly love me this much to know that this summer was exactly what I needed. 

I'm so thankful that I get to spend my whole life making Him famous. 

I know that I still have time left & I should cherish every moment with joy and happiness. Trust me when I say that I am doing exactly that but I just had to be transparent with you guys tonight. I need prayer. Prayer for direction. Prayer for trusting Jesus. And I need prayer for these next 13 days...that will undoubtedly be filled with so many goodbyes. 

I'm sad today, yes, but most of the time I am just thankful. Because I couldn't be sad if I hated this place, if I hadn't of had the best summer of my entire life, if I didn't love everything about this country (yes, even you ugali). I am so overwhelmingly, incredibly thankful. To my family, my friends, my supporters and my Jesus.

Joyful.

Capture Gratitude.

This summer has gone by swiftly and perfectly. While it has gone by way too quickly, I have experienced some of the best moments of my entire life. I took the following idea from a girl named Mandie Joy, read her story and understand why I'm so inspired by her. Anyways, the past couple weeks have been a blur - good things have happened, bad things have happened and God has been in the center of them all. I just wanted to spend a post celebrating his goodness in the little moments of my life...not just the "I held a monkey" moments. So here we go. My first ever capture gratitude.

Joyce's smile. It always makes me happy.

Kenyan skies.

Mombasa beach. Absolutely gorgeous.

Praying before every break. I love thanking God with these kids.

Elephants. I love elephants so much.

These amazing girls spoke so much truth into my life.

Reunions! I LOVE reunions. Especially with crazy teachers.

Kenyan Best Friends. Cannot explain how Christ-centered and beautiful this friendship is. Love you to the moon & back my Jaya Awinja :)

Feeding a baby buffalo. I can't explain how much I loved this moment.

Another of one of my ridiculously crazy Kenyan (okay..."American") best friends. I've never laughed more with one person in my entire life.

The first picture I ever took with my orphanage kids. I had no idea how much I would fall in love with each and every one of them. 

This is a small picture of my life this summer. I hope you remember to capture gratitude in the little moments of life because we can get caught up in ourselves so much that we sometimes worship creation versus worshiping the Creator.

Lastly, I am ridiculously thankful for malaria. Many of you knew what I walked through when I had it and many of you prayed fervently for me all week. I am so thankful to have overcome this disease but it really wasn't even as bad as it could have been. People all over the continent of Africa die everyday from malaria simply because of lack of funds or lack of knowledge about the disease. My medicine costs me 5 dollars. FIVE dollars. And people die from this disease...every. single. day. I am joyful to have had this disease because now I can relate with people who have it and don't have a warm bed, don't have a mom to take care of them and don't have money to provide for themselves. I had all of those things and I was still miserable. I can't imagine those who don't have those things. God absolutely healed me & your prayers made my life so much better but I am thankful that I wasn't healed immediately. I am so thankful to share in something with the people in Kenya. I love all parts of this country, the beautiful parts and the hard parts.

 God is in all of them.